• I had a good excuse for wandering through the
Page 38
If you've noticed an error in this article please click here to report it so we can fix it.
sleazy back streets of Soho the other day, I was there on business.
Ford had said why not come and see the new Michael Caine film, The Fourth Protocol, based on one of those complex but compelling Frederick Forsyth spy novels? It was being shown in Rank Film Distributors' preview theatre in Wardour Street and I thought, "yes, what a good idea". I was hoping to get Barry Norman's autograph. Naturally, he wasn't there.
Nevertheless, I now know the origin of the phrase "getting in on the act." Ford, I soon realised, had provided the cars for both the goody and the baddy in the film. The baddy, a nasty Russian agent planning to detonate a nuclear bomb he has constructed in his attic with two motorcycle headlamp bumbs bolted together (honest), gets a flashy blue Escort XR something or other. The goody, maverick Michael Caine, gets a muted blue Ford Transit. Is there no justice in this world?
Well, yes, actually, it would appear there is. Valeri Petrovsky (that's the Russian agent in case you confuse the two) gets his come-uppance in the time-honoured "bump-himoff-as-his-finger-stretches-for-the-button" tradition. But that is not before we've seen the Transit put through its paces during the equally timehonoured car-chase-raceagainst-the-clock tradition.
It thunders up the wrong side of the road, scuttles down an embankment to avoid a road block, shoots through a pedestrian subway scattering mothers and prams in its path and thunders back up onto the road again on the other side of stoppage. Remember Caine and his mini in The Italian Job? You get the idea.
His laconic sense of humour Lingers on, too. "Who signed for this van?" he asks, clinging for dear life to the dashboard. "You did," says the driver.
It's all good fun. Go see it: there is a neat little sting in the tail.
I was left pondering a deeper question at the end of it all, however, namely, whether the superpowers should agree on a fifth protocol committing them to driving their vans in a manner not likely to cause a breach of the peace. World peace that is.
• Eddie Wells is on the run again. In 1985 he finished ten, yes ten, marathons for charity and now he and his wife Carol plan to take on the big daddy of them all — the London marathon.
Eddie, who works for London Carriers — the distribution arm of Philips — says: "London Carriers has committed itself in its sixtieth year to raising enough money to purchase six Sunshine Coaches for underprivileged children."
He admits that the ten runs of 1985 left him physically and mentally exhausted: "I have not run seriously since," he says, but his jogging shoes are coming out of the cupboard now and Carol, whose previous daily exercise was a walk around the shops, is in training too.
The Wells' need donations, sponsorship and pledges to spur them on, so help out if you can. Contact Eddie at London Carriers in Croydon on 01684 3670.
• Misunderstand me not; I have nothing but respect for the boys down at the British Standards Institute. The haulage industry has, after all, benefited more from their work than most other industries.
Nonetheless, I wonder if they had a collectively straight face when sending this august journal a note to the effect that" . . in view of your readers' interest in the subject, you will be interested to learn that BS6827 is now available. If you would like a review copy. . ." etc, etc. The interesting subject covered by BS6827? "Guide to the storage and transport of green coffee in bags."
Should you want a copy it'll cost you £10.30 from the BSI (phone 01-629 9000). The Hawk will wait for a guide on the transport of Irish coffee, in mugs, to mouth.
• The launch of the Institute of Materials. Management (formerly the Institute of Materials Handling) was marred by an unfortunate incident.
The materials handling expert responsible for handling the Institute's smart new logo, printed in large red letters on a polystyrene block, doubtless did his best.
Nonetheless it fell down in the middle of the President's speech. • HRH The Princess Anne takes a very welcome interest in the transport industry. She was, quite recently, guest of honour at two of the industry organisation's annual dinners; here she is pictured in her role as president of the Chartered Institute of Transport, presenting a souvenir medal to Mike Gray of Coopers and Lybrand, who had just delivered the 1987 Philip Hemnan Overseas Lecture at the Institute of Civil Engineers.