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bird's eye view
Page 55
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by the Hawk • British Europeans
Perhaps like me you had given up watching Panorama on BBC 1. I was beginning to believe that Richard Nixon was our Prime Minister, so often did he and his countrymen appear on the Robin Day programme.
But by the best of good fortune I tuned in on Monday and for half an hour was entertained and enlightened by a documentary featuring a group of unnamed British lorry drivers in France and starring one, Ken Davies, of HTS.
The programme highlighted the problems, the drivers' experiences at the borders and the delays which can occur when the gendarmes decide to pull them off the road because it happens to be a national or local festival. One driver pointed out that the chief of police in every province in France appeared to slap his own interpretation on the law, so you just had to smile and plead ignorance. On one occasion more than a dozen vehicles were seen parked at the side of the road with the drivers paying 15-franc fines. According to Ken Davies the fines were only imposed because the Surete wanted to appear on television! "Otherwise", said Ken Davies, "we would have been sitting here until midnight".
The reason for the fines was that the drivers had had the audacity to use the public highway on May Day.
When one driver was asked if Britain. should enter the Common Market he replied that it would make no difference to him, since he already spent most of his working life in Europe—and he added, with a sweep of his arm at the parked vehicles: "It won't get me through customs any quicker; just look at the Germans, French and Italians who are stuck here at the border along with us".
• I spy
Peter Jeffcock, general manager at R. Murfitt Ltd, tells me that this week one of his workshop supervisors spotted what appeared to be a couple of industrial spies outside the Wisbech factory. Armed with expensive cameras and telescopic lenses they were clicking away merrily at the north end of the factory where some of Murfitt's newest products were in an almost completed state.
It seems a pity that these Kim Philbys of industry hadn't marched up boldly to the front door, because Peter Jeffcock tells me he would have been happy to show them over the factory, provide them with sales literature, or sell them, at a very competitive price, Murfitt's latest non-tip frameless hopper tank or compartmented pressure vehicle.
So there it is, gentlemen; if the camouflage fouled up your lenses give Peter a ring, unless of course you believe that stolen fruits are always sweeter!
• Get SET
With all the spate of statements from representatives of trade and industry, explaining why the removal of half of SET is unlikely to benefit customers (though they weren't slow to whack the cost on when SET came in) it was nice to get a letter from David Dove telling me that Dove Group are going to pass the saving on. They have decided to reduce their labour charges by 10p an hour and their charge for materials by 5p in the pound.
Dove Group have also introduced, from this week, a workmanship guarantee which they feel is an effective answer to those complaints of garage workmanship in the Which? report—though no Dove workshops were involved in that report.
• Home for Holmes
I've been to some official openings in my time, but nothing quite like the function last week to mark the opening of a new head office in Lincoln for Godfrey Holmes Ltd. The guest list read like a who's who in the automotive component and accessory supply industry, and the hospitality was lavish, but it was the spirit of the occasion which gripped me.
Or perhaps I should say spirits. First, the astonishing sense of company spirit exuded by the managers and staff of OH headquarters and branches—there really was an almost tangible air of loyalty and enthusiasm; secondly the irreverent spirit which seems to be the speciality of this section of the motor trade. The expert in this art of the friendly insult a la Jack Benny was the principal speaker, Jim Hartley, chairman of Harrno Industries. For instance: "For 30 years Godfrey Holmes has chased us for discounts in order to pay for this magnificent banquet".
III Biggest discount
Jim Hartley told the story of the occasion when Godfrey Holmes overslept on the train and woke up at Doncaster. Finding he was also out of cash, he was pondering how to rescue himself from being stranded when he spotted one of his own vans. It turned out to be driven by a branch manager who had sneaked off to the St. Leger in the van—and also had a lady friend along. GH was discreet; he quietly commandeered the van for his own transport and left the manager to get himself and his lady friend home. Well, that's what Jim says.
It was all good clean fun, and Mr Hartley rounded off a tribute to OH's integrity by presenting him with an oil painting which, he said, had for years hung on the Harmo stand at Earls Court. Unveiled, it proved to be a picture of a disconsolate tramp, with the caption: "I used to give the biggest discounts in the trade"!
• Speed read
I see that next week in London there's an advanced reading course designed to speedup reading, note-taking, report analysis and so on. The thing that catches my eye is a session devoted to a new approach to journals and periodicals; anything which helps people to read CM quicker without losing the essence appeals to me as helping to promote readership in this paper-swamped age.
The course is not cheap, but I'm very happy to suggest that readers might care to get the details from Management Studies Centre at 14 Queen Victoria Street, London, EC4 (phone: 01-248 8186).