ril ast week CM outlined the transport
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policies of the major parties but in the hurly burly of election coverage we omitted to examine the offerings from the Monster Raving Loony Party. To rectify this, the Hawk spoke to Alan Hope, party chairman and landlord of the Golden Lion Hotel, Teignmouth, Devon. A veteran Loony, he was the first to win a council seat.
"The Loony Party was the first truly green party," claims Alan. "We are tackling pollution with some radical solutions know as the mean, green, loony, clean machine."
Fair enough. So here are the main transport proposals from the national Loony manifesto.
0 Road tax abolished — fuel increased to pay for environmental damage caused by "foreign juggernauts flying about". 0 Car tax scrapped for vehicles under 800cc — doubled for vehicles over 2,000cc. Exhaust emission controls to apply to all vehicles.
0 Tax rebates for users of electric cars, bicycles, skateboards, hot-air balloons, penny-farthings.
In addition, Alan has his own local manifesto — a vendetta against caravans. 0 Caravans will be subject to £250 road fund licence duty. A purchase tax of £2,000 will apply to new caravans — E500 secondhand. Fewer caravans means higher occupancy rate for hotels and B&Bs and cuts traffic jams. Traffic offences involving caravans will result in a five-year towing ban. The Devon Loonies are committed to "clearing scenic coastal views of unsightly sights sited at the seashore".
0 Small-vehicle enthusiasts get a boost from plans to make the Ford Escort 1,300cc van, with catalytic exhaust, available at "silly prices to worthy organisations" irrespective of demand. To include local authorities and small businesses on a means-tested basis.
0 The early Morris Minor 1,100cc with original chrome and split windscreen to be brought back into mass production, supported by state funding. The move will give "real mobility to the people" and undermine the market for imported cars. "Look, if the Trabant can achieve cult status ...", argues the manifesto.
Floaters may be
convinced by Alan's concern that a major movement of freight from road to rail would cost jobs. "Anyway, I can't say too much against lorries because some of my best regulars work for a local haulier." There speaks an honest politician.