• Take Care of the Pence
Page 58
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U1TE a nasty scene in ParWment a couple of weeks back," said Maggie's brother Cromwell, "all over a lot of figures it would take a comptometer to understand anyway."
"It was a Mr. Callaghan who started it, according to the official report," I said. "He asked the Minister of Transport about the percentage of lorries sold in List 3 of transport units. When he was told that 86 per cent. of the units offered had been sold, he called the Minister a rude name, and suggested that the figure was something quite different." "Just like a man," commented Maggie, "to ask questions although he knows the answers already." "Not an exceusively masculine characteristic," said Cromwell, who always has to learn the hard way.
" Let us leave politics out of this," I said hastily, "Have you heard how the present situation looks to Bloggs, a non-political subject if ever there was one?"
"Not any longer," said Cromwell. "Bloggs is all in favour of political action now. He wants the two parties to give him some sort of recognition."
"They are neither of them likely to forget him, but how will that help?"
Hamstringing by Threats "It goes deeper," said Cromwell. "Look at it this way, and take the Socialists first of all. If Bloggs and his fellows went on strike and refused to buy transport units, there would be nothing to renationalize, and the Socialists would have one thing less to shout about at the next election. In spite of this, they do their best to hamper the sales by means of threats, and call the Minister every name they dare if they suspect him of getting his figures mixed."
" I realize, of course, that the Socialists do not perhaps appreciate. Bloggs—" " It is not appreciation he wants. It is some measure of realism. Bloggs maintains that he and his like are the political backbone of the road haulage industry. There are thousands of hauliers who were not much affected by either Transport Act, and perhaps have never heard of them. These people do not worry much about political changes.
" Without people like Bloggs, there would be nobody to have his business acquired, and nobody to buy it back again. He is meat and drink to the politicians, and you would think they would have an all-party agreement to subsidize him."
"That is what the Socialists suggest is happening, only without their agreement."
"It does not look like that from where Bloggs is standing. Four years ago, the Socialists paid him the least compensation they could, and in 3 per cent. stock at that. Then the Conservatives—without even asking him how he has managed to scrape along in the meantime—expect him to offer just as much to get his business back, and add on the levy as an extra.
"Finally, the Socialists are saying that, if they get the chance of taking him over again, they will give no more for his vehicles than the price he has paid, less depreciation. They say nothing about giving him the levy back."
"If it comes to that, they do not suggest returning the levy to anybody else." "Bloggs maintains that, with the prices the Disposal Board seem to expect, the levy will be superfluous. What nicer gesture could the politicians make than to share the proceeds among those operators who, by taking their businesses in and out of pawn so dutifully, have ensured that the House of Commons will never be short of something to talk about."
"The gesture would certainly provide an additional topic. I suppose this all means that Bloggs has bought his old business back."
"You would not say that if you knew the price he hopes to pay," said Cromwell. "Once he does that, he will keep quiet about wanting .a subsidy, in case somebody starts to work out a few more sums.
"He has put in a bid or two then? " I asked.
"He is in good hands now. I am acting as his adviser," said Cromwell. "Until he had the benefit of my help, Bloggs was marching up a blind alley and getting nowhere. He was obsessed with the idea that the Disposal Board must have a reserve price, so that he had only to find how they arrived at it."
" He has not been alone in thinking that."
"But you will agree that the theory has not proved very successful. Bloggs spent time and money having the vehicles and premises valued, adding sometimes £50, sometimes £70 and sometimes £100 per ton of carrying capacity. All to no avail."
"It still seems the only thing to do."
"It puts you too much into the hands of the experts," said Cromwell. "What is the use of having the vehicles valued? The expert, who naturally wants to make sure of his fee, will deduct it from the price he thinks you are able to pay, and the answer will be his valuation."
"But as the Disposal Board themselves no doubt take advice from valuers, the opinion of the expert may still be a guide, by whatever method it is reached."
"You know as well as I do that experts never agree. The individual expert may not even be consistent. When he is asked to value a transport unit for the Disposal Board, his answer may be completely different, for in that case he would add his fee and not take it away."
" No need for him to do that," I said, "because the fee will come out of the levy."
No Magic Formula "You see how difficult it all is," said Cromwell. "For' myself, I do not believe the Disposal Board have time to get every unit valued. Nor do I believe there is a magic formula. You hear of low bids that are successful, and of high bids for units that have remained unsold."
"So what is your advice to Boggs?" • "To use the psychological approach. What the Disposal Board are looking for is the honest, genuine tender. They are suspicious of any figure like £10,000 or £20,000. It does not ring true. But take a figure like £8,527 3s. 10d. Nobody would bid that, you would imagine, unless he thought it represented the exact value of the unit. In his later tenders, Bloggs is avoiding the round number."
"How many tenders has he had accepted?" I asked.
"None so far," said Cromwell. "He still needs some practice with the shillings and pence; the pounds will look after themselves. He should be number-perfect by 1960, by which time he calculates the first lot he bid for will have come up for the fifty-seventh time, and the Disposal Board will be in the mood to give it away."