Scrap Metal
Page 65
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44 OU missed. a chance by riot giving a more
inspiring name to your society for the return of complete free ...enterprise to road haulage,"
said Maggie's brother Cromwell. Nobody is going tO man the barricades on behalf of a long-winded ..slogan like that."
"Like most subjects these days," said 'Cromwell, "there is a whole branch of learning devoted to the nomenclature of societies. , there is probably even a society for it, and the study certainly includes a course in psychology, semantics and savoir faire. I am only' a beginner, but I do know that the first essential is to have plausible initials.
" Perhaps there have been too many examples in recent years," I said, "beginning with SHAPE and SHAEF, and going on to UNI-this, that and the other."
"The latest trend," said Cromwell, "is to devise initials that really tell you something about the organization. PLUTO and FIDO were conspicuously in advance of their age. Also worth noting in some instances is the sound effect—onomatopoeia, as we call it in the language class."
"Such as BR(R) for British Railways," I said. " Particularly appropriate for station waiting rooms in winter."
"It was a pleasure to hear you sound the brackets," said Cromwell, "You would make an apt pupil. There was once a bracket, I am told, in the name of the Wholesale Meat and Provision (Transport) Association."
"Of course, the W.M.P.T.A. has been, as the meat carrier would say, in cold storage for some time," I said.
"The old masters of the art of titling knew a thing or two," said Cromwell. "Take, for example, the British Road Federation, or BRF. It is hard to say whether the old retainer's cough or the watchdog's bark is intended, hut the effect is exactly what is needed in an approach to the Government. It is .deferential but not safely disregarded."
Name for Society , "Coming back to my own society," I said. "What would you propose?"
"There is hardly any problem involved," said Cromwell. "You ought to call it the Society for the Complete Removal of All Prohibitions, giving you the initials SCRAP."
"I shall have to appoint you the publicity officer," I said.
"And a rare song and dance there would be," said Cromwell, "although, as you said in your inaugural address, nothing is likely to be achieved. Like most things in this over-crowded country, a restriction soon acquires a nuisance value, in the same way as the irritated oyster secretes a pearl. At first the haulier may have resented having to hold a licence; but now he prizes it."
"He assumes his business would be damaged if licences were abolished," I said, "and probably he is right. My point is that he has no absolute proof, except the historical comparison, which may be misleading, with the early I930s."
"You are up against something stronger than opinion," said Cromwell. "The holding of an A or B
licence has become a vested, interest, to which even the Socialists pay' tribute, or at any rate once paid compensation."
"That was for the ordinary goodwill of the businesses they took over," I objected, "and not for the licences as such. In the ordinary sense of the word, you cannot buy a licence."
"Tell that to the hauliers," said Cromwell. "Now look at the other side of the picture. The purchasers of vehicles through the Disposal Board are paying extra for a special A licence, however it may appear in the records of the Commission or of the inland revenue authorities.
They are not buying goodwill." _ . "For the most part they are buying vehicles," I said. "The levy is paying for the goodwill."
Pay for What?
"Just what I mean,"said Cromwell. "Few people now attempt to justify the levy, and perhaps it is indefensible, but it must touch reality at some point. The intention is to pay somebody for something. The question is—for what? Is it intended lo pay the Commission for what they have lost? In a way it is, but then one finds that the Commission themselves are contributing. Or does the levy represent the net gain to the road haulage industry from denationalization? If so, why has the-C-licence holder to pay it? By far the most satisfactory explanation is to regard the levy as a sacrifice, in cash -rather than in kind, to the .gods of the licensing system." .
"1 can see .what you are leading up to," I said. "All the licence holders are paying in to subsidize the system, and all sorts of awkward questions would be asked if the system were abolished."
"Rather like the position of a slate club following an Act of Parliament to do away with Christmas," said Cromwell.
"Even worse," I said, "for Christmas comes -but once a year, but the gods of the licensing System we have ever with us." .
"And the gods are athirst," said Cromwell. "There are more prosecutions than ever for misuse of licences or, for carrying goods without a licence at all. Your society.has a good many honorary but active members before it is even formed, but they may not do you much credit."
"The purpose is. to alter..the iaw,: not break it," I said. " The prevalence of infringement often points to
the' need for amendment." """ • "What on earth are you talking about? " said Maggie, who had just come into the room.
"In other words„" said Cromwell,"if people are always breaking the law', it cannot be a good law." .
-" That is no way to argue," Said Maggie. "There would be no point in making a law that nobody wanted to break. If a law is not kept, the punishment should be made harder." .
"Exactly," said Cromwell. "Things must not be made too easy for us. Your society might want to goback to the law of the jungle, but that would not mean the survival of the fittest. Artificial selection is better, and what could be more artificial than the licensing system?"