bird's eye view by the Hawk
Page 34
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• Crock of gold
Once upon a time a giant State-owned industry passed a sizeable contract to a public works contractor. During the contract, inflation overtook the contractor's price and five years after he started the work he could see a loss appearing on his balance sheet.
He went back to the State giant and asked for more money.
"Go away", said the giant; "unless you can justify your claim there will be no more money for you."
"But how can I justify it?" asked the contractor.
"If you can bring to me copies of Commercial Motor Tables of Operating Costs since 1968 and can show that your costs have risen in the same way as they do in the tables then I will pay you."
This is no fairy tale but it did have a happy ending. Last Friday the contractor came along to CM's offices and bought photostat copies of the tables he required. "This", he said gleefully, "will please the giant who will now give me thousands of pounds and turn loss into profit."
• Seaside digs
A bouquet for the building industry the
Routemaster Hotel for lorry drivers at Felixstowe has opened two days ahead of schedule. The hotel, and the adjoining security park which was opened earlier this year (CM February 23), are operated by Securicor Ltd. The accommodation has been designed on the lines of Continental establishments. Each driver has his own room with all mod cons and there is one bath for every six occupants; not all at the same time, of course.
The facilities were sampled on Monday evening by four Somerset drivers who described it as terrific and "well worth the few coppers extra". The overnight charge is £2.20 including breakfast.
Norman Strutt, the manager, is a beaming Mine Host — just the type of m an to give our returning wayfarers a welcome home to England or create a good impression with the Continentals visiting us for the first time.
• Poetic justice
The author of those two features — The Anatomy of the Haulier and The Anatomy of the Manufacturer — which cheered many a CM reader with their wickedly true comments, Michael Keogh, has become so incensed by the attitude of some of the Press to the heavy lorry that he has given off in verse, as follows: The Juggernaut The Juggernaut, as I recall, Has never had motive power at all: It cannot steer and bears no load, And will not run on a level road. The monstrous trolley, high and wide.
Was actually just for suicide, For under its wheels the faithful cast Themselves, to get to Heaven fast, Or so, I've read, Hindus believed; I hope they were not undeceived.
But now some sections of the Press Cause me, and others, much distress By irresponsible and absurd Misuse of that old hallowed word.
The brakeless hulk in days of old Unsteering down the mountain rolled; A pity, gentlemen, that you Lack such faith as the Hindu, For you could join them, and how nice To meet your friends in Paradise!
Meanwhile for heaven's sake respect The truth, and in your words reflect What Press should value, if it's free, Not Prejudice — Integrity.
• Favourites
The only road vehicles which in any way resemble the original juggernaut are the ones that no one would ever complain about — the steam oldies. Quick to spot the main chance, the secretary of Know! Hill steam rally has written to tell me that some of those lovely old Sentinels referred to in CM's book review (July 20) will be at the rally on August 11 and 12. Knowl Hill is between Reading and Maidenhead.
There'll also be other makes of steam and vintage vehicles doing their thing.
• Beetle drive
How do you start a stalled truck with a VW? A chatty Leyland advertisement in the Australian Truck and Bus Transportation tells how a girl VW driver came upon a stranded trucker whose vehicle had a broken starter motor. She got him to jack up one rear wheel, wound a length of rope round it (using the twin tyres like a pulley), attached the loose end to the back of her VW and, telling the driver to select top gear, drove her car smartly away. The rear wheel spun and the engine started.
Now someone will write and tell me it can't be done.