NEWS from the NORTH!
Page 18
If you've noticed an error in this article please click here to report it so we can fix it.
By our Northern Correspondent, Eric Strongitharm, Oswaidtwisde.
ever mindful of ways to save hauliers a penny or two, Spagthorpe Motor Company's top-secret "Stoat Works" has been looking at ways of cutting fuel consumption through aerodynamics—or "streamalingering", as sceptical engineering overseer Isaac "Slide Rule" Frazackerley would have it.
The project began with an abortive attempt to drill air-flow holes through a Spagthorpe Dreadnought, resulting in half of Oswaldtwistle being engulfed in steam from the perforated boiler. Never a man to be discouraged by third-degree burns, works engineer Henry Sucksqueeze moved on to a windcheating cowling for the chassis, wheels and underparts of the bio-powered Spagthorpe Cockerel: unfortunately the all-enveloping guttapercha bodywork left no room for steering the front wheels, and test driver Darren Acne ploughed into the recently rebuilt Iron Works ferret sheds. It wouldn't have mattered in any case, since the stench of the organic fuel had proved, er, overpowering.
* Briefly winners of the Widdop to Blacko Lurch, until they foolishly mounted the podium together and the referee realised that there were two Spongebys.