Gary Longbone of Longbones Haulage finds a driver in a
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morning, gets out of lunch with a Frenchman, solves mechanical problems—and has football on his mind...
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MONDAY
A 7am start. The sun is shining and I've a nice weekend behind me. Let's get the wagons out. Not long after, they've all gone except one. A packet of Hamlets later and still no driver. The telephone rings and the driver's wife informs me the driver has changed jobs. Thanks for letting me know! The day is slowly going downhill and it's only 9am. Next major problem is that the kettle blows up and I decide I have wasted the last 20 years of my life trying to make a living. Manage to secure a new driver by lunchtime. Take a look at the empty yard and then see that the order book is full and decide to take the afternoon off and play golf.
,c5 TUESDAY
E Clean the office as an important French customer is visiting g today to discuss the diesel increase in the Budget. He arrives at Pc, 10am and by 10.05am we realise the word "increase" is not in E the French language. The discussion changes from work to why the French drive on the right hand side of the road and why the Channel Tunnel is so busy. Get out of buying lunch by making up a fictitious dental appointment.
WEDNESDAY
Bad day as there are the wages to do. They've got to be finished and arranged with the bank by 4,30pm. As usual, something happens: a major customer remembers a caravan show and wants five units moved today. As I've ore driver missing there's nothing for it but to do it myself. Back in the office at fipm with no wages done, so have to pay everyone by cheque.
THURSDAY
Wages done at last, then into a directors' meeting with the family. After heated discussions we decide on a price increase to all our customers because of the diesel rise. In the middle of the meeting a caravan is damaged on a site in the Isle of Wight and the customer will not accept delivery. We persuade him to keep the caravan and promise a prompt repair.
FRIDAY
Hectic start as the front spring on the Volvo breaks. A caravan for urgent export must be transported from Hull to Portsmouth today and is booked on the midnight sailing. My brother is away for the day, so nothing for it but to repair it myself. Very late lunch, but the job is complete. Back feels broken because of the hard work of changing the spring—I'm not used to this, as I'm usually in the office. I slide slowly down the back of my chair and look around the office. Why do all transport offices have naked women on calendars and cups or mugs that look like they have had old sump oil in thern9 Now that all the work's sorted I get down to the important part of the week—who are we playing at football on Saturdayo