By our Northern Correspondent Eric Shongitharm Oswaldtwistle.
Page 22
If you've noticed an error in this article please click here to report it so we can fix it.
FLASH: Angry Spagthorpe Motor Company customers have lashed out at the company's latest recall programme, claiming it is "too little, too late". Speaking from the legendary Iron Works, ashen-faced PR man Frank Chastity confirmed that the company has reluctantly been forced to issue a nationwide safety recall on all Spagthorpe "Mosquito" tippers following the discovery of major infestations of Surinam Death Watch Beetle in their balsa wood cabs and larch bodies.
According to Frank Decibel, outspoken chairman of the Spagthorpe Distributors Alliance and dealer principle of Ackroyd's Waggons (Oswaldtwistle) the recall couldn't have come at a worse time. "We've only just finished the modification programme on "Wanderer" tractors after some daft beggar on't production line went and fitted rear-lift axles to all the 4x2s!" he exclaimed Mosquito owners were first alerted to the problem after hearing strange knocking noises. "I thought it were big-ends like—them Mosquitos are notorious for losing an engine after a million miles," says local tipper operator Jebediah But we finally twigged when we kept finding bloody great piles of sawdust under waggons in't morning—that and the fact that the cabs came off when driver braked sudden like."
Flash: SMC chairman and life-president Sir Jos Spagthorpe is reported to be "comfortable" in Ostvraldtwisde Cottage Hospital after the mystery collapse of his boardroom chair last night