Brain Wash
Page 54
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4,4 RIMITIVE people believe that virtue resides in
p
a name. They keep their own a secret, and choose • for themselves a nickname that will not harm them when other people pronounce it. Some echo of an earlier age when words had intrinsic power may produce in us a superstitious, if lightly regarded, shiver at this moment of time when the name of the Road Haulage Executive is replaced by the adopted title of British Road Services. It may not be altogether fanciful to imagine that some virtue has gone out of the organization . . ."
The saloon bar of the Ivory Tower provides an atmosphere congenial to this anthropological style of writing, but I was allowed to get no farther on this • occasion. .
"Your advice would be very useful on a scheme I have in mind," said Maggie's brother Cromwell. "I am starting a correspondence college and want a few literary tips on the best way to Ora* up a prospectus." ' ".1 suppose you are proposing to teach the 10 best ways a getting people to part with their money," I said, a little cynically.
Tuition Racket "You may say that has something to do with it. My idea is not entirely original. I have just had a series of pep talks on advertising by a professor of that art, and although I have not found out much about advertising, I can see there is big money in this tuition racket. The rest of my scheme I got from one of these productivity reports that tell us how well the Yanks do things. I am going to set up in the psychological warfare business, and give a course of six lectures at a guinea a time in brain-washing for high-up officials of B.R.S. who wish to return to private enterprise."
"There may be something in your plan, but why not take in the rest of the staff?"
"For one thing," said Cromwell, "it doesn't seem quite so necessary. The drivers, for instance, turn right or left according to the map, not according to the Government. All the same, if I can get the top brass interested, there will be time enough to go for the mass market later."
" You seem to have picked up the advertising jargon very well."
Spiritual Detergent "The same principles apply to brain-washing as to washing smalls. I am trying to sell the world on a spiritual detergent. I aim to use some good hard selling copy, as my old professor would have put it, and (to quote his words again) the Great British Public are suckers for a before-and-after story. You know the idea. Picture 1 shows the subject in civil service uniform, watching the clock—that's before. Picture 2 shows him rummaging through his wardrobe—that's now. Picture 3 shows him sitting up in bed, in his braces and a bowler hat, answering the phone at 2.30 in the morning—that's after.
"What do you think about this as the opening paragraph? 'Plus ga change . . A rose by any other name ... Yesterday you worked for R.H.E., today for B.R S But what about tomorrow . . .? ' " He showed me the literature for my appraisal. B20 "I see your professor liked plenty of dots in 1copy."
"Come to think of it, you've got something there. B in fact I'm modelling my style to suit the sort of read I want to attract. The dots are a reminder that it is t. things left unsaid that are most important. Ask t B.R.S. officials if they are interested in buying a tin and 99 out of 100 will deny it. Many of them ha stood up in public and declared that they believe nationalization and deplore the threatened return anarchy."
"I begin to warm to your scheme. If these peoi are to come back into free enterprise through the in curtain, they will need a complete psychological ovt haul."
Selling Slogan " Don't look now—your psyche is showing' is one my slogans," said Cromwell.
"On the other hand," I said, "your course will n have much effect on them in practice, as in their prese state of mind they Would not be willing to take it." There are various methods of persuasion," sa Cromwell mysteriously. "And you have forgotten t significance of the dots. Five years ago a lot of pecii were pledging themselves to defend road haulage une free enterprise to the death, and they went on shouti the odds .until the day they put the cheque from t British Transport Commission in the bank."
"Perhaps somebody took them through your coin in reverse."
"I fancy not. In those days they kept their brai washed themselves. What has happened to many them is that they no longer think like hauliers Th regard themselves as free-enterprise brands saved frc the burning, and their mission in life is to rescue t road haulage industry from a fate worse than deatl Cromwell replied.
"They must reckon at least to make a living out doing so."
Let Credit Co "Now you come to the crux of the matter. Will th make a living? Sometimes it is better to take the ca and let the credit go. Bloggs was telling me the ott day that when the Transport Act was passed one distr manager stood up at a meeting of his drivers and sa 'There's no need to worry, boys! I've bought t outfit! ' After listening to him, they looked rea worried for the first time—or so Bloggs says. Bh4 reckons they must have heard about my brain-washi scheme, and remembered what the chap was like befc nationalization.
"The moral of the story is that no self-respecti haulier would dream of saying publicly what he inten doing. Hence the need for my course. Bloggs says this district manager really wants to buy his unit, must be worth bidding for, and he may very likely out-distanced in the gold rush. Too bad for him B.R.S. disappear under his feet and he is left utte stranded."
" It would be unkind as well as unjust to put forward as the only authentic example of the sinki ship deserting the rat. But perhaps after all he is of carrying out an elaborate double douhlecross," I sa