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WESTM NSTEr 5
Page 7
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HAUL
WHAT is it that analyses the reasons for the conflict between the WesternWorld and the Eastern bloc, deals with the sale of properties owned by the Church Commissioners and recalls the sinking of a ship by a German submarine off Crete?
Puzzled? Then a few more clues.
It also compares Britain's progress over the last hundred years with that of other industrial nations, brings in Lloyd George's Yellow Book and offers the Home Office and the GLC as the leading candidates for administrative inefficiency.
Still no wiser? Oh, all right then. . . .
The answer is: a speech by Lord Wigg on the Transport Bill.
His Lordship has long had an eye for a horse that will be first past the post. He would never back one that ran as wide as he admittedly went on this occasion.
True, he said right at the beginning that he supported the Bill, and made odd references to it during his 25-minute discourse.
But, as Government spokesman (person?) Lady Stedman observed, with admirable understatement, "He was setting the Bill in a very much wider context than most of us had thought of doing today".
But then it would not have been right for her to say more — for had not Lord Wigg complimented her on her charm and efficiency?
He was not so gracious about a Liberal — though it was a Tory who complained about the phrase "soppy, sloppy, canting, humbugging Liberalism". "Please moderate your language" was the plea.
"Moderate my language?asked an
astounded Lord Wigg . if what he had said was an attack, then Heaven forbid that he should ever really strike form, he warned.
It was another Tory who admitted that he was confused about the relationship between the three main points he had grasped in Lord Wigg's speech — his travels from Seattle to Vancouver, unemployment, and a garage in Westminster.
Whereupon the obliging Lord proceeded to explain what he had already said.
The speech was the only really unexpected item in a sober debate which did, however, have its moments. There was, for instance, Lady Stedman describing the Bill as closely woven and harmonious, to be followed immediately by Lord O'Hagan calling it a series of interesting linked holes — modern version of Dr Johnson's definition of a net, anything made with interstitial vacuities.
And who but their Lordships could argue whether — as the Bill was being discussed on a Friday — it would "work hard for its living" or be "loving and giving'"?