WES TM STEW HAUL
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OH THE TROUBLES caused to Ministers by those seemingly innocuous little questions!
When does the Prime Minister intend to visit Birmingham? .. , or Hetton-le-Hole? or Much Twittering Within?
The MPs who have put down the questions could not care less when those worthy spots are graced by the Premier. What they are interested in is the supplementary questions after the inevitable "I have no plans ..."
The world is then their oyster. "If the Prime Minister does visit X or Y or Z, will he reassure the citizens about mass picketing, or political prisoners in Indonesia, or left-handed ballpoint pens?"
Nothing to do with the Premier, but topics of burning interest to the MPs, who use this dodge to get the PM involved — and with luck pick up some publicity at the same time.
The Prime Minister, though the main sufferer, is not the only one. Transport Minister Bill Rodgers. for instance, had his fair share last week.
When did he next intend to meet the chairman of the National Bus Company ... and the chairman of British Rail . . . and leaders of transport unions?
It was a safe bet the MPs would not be content with "Next Tuesday week" or "As soon as I've got a spare moment."
So what were they really getting at? Almost certainly something to do with the day-to-day running of those concerns — matters which are not the responsibility of the Minister and would not be allowed if baldly stated on the Order Paper.
Any clues in the MPs themselves, their hobby-horses or their constituencies?
The civil servants and the Minister pondered, Tory Trevor Skeet was unlikely to be complimentary about British Rail, so it would be a good thing to remind him of the E80 million improvement scheme between St Pancras and his constituency of Bedford.
Scottish Nationalist Douglas Crawford would almost certainly be concerned about rail services over his native heath — a categorical assurance that there were no proposals for rail closures at present should quieten him.
But why was Charles Morrison. the Tory MP for Devizes, worried about buses? Well, it turned out to be the fares increase being sought by the Bristol Omnibus Company — and there was a placatory answer to that "I shall draw the point to the attention of the chairman and I am sure he will consider it."
It was too much to hope that every questioner was satisfied at the end.
But at least — thanks to a mixture of homework and spur-of-the-moment reaction — Mr Rodgers was not left standing openmouthed and helpless at the Despatch Box.