From small beginnings
Page 31
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THE MOTOR SHOW already seems to have been a lifetime ago but good stories about it are still circulating. One concerns a boy of about ten who obviously knew of the reluctance of vehicle manufacturers to hand out expensive brochures to children and, with the guile of a born con man, used psychology to gain his ends.
Proffering a notebook and ball point pen to a salesman, he asked for his autograph. The salesman was suspcious but secretly gratified and, on reasssurance, gave his signature. The boy thanked him profusely and then asked politely for "some brochures".
That child will finish up either as a captain of industry or in jail, or both. If someone gives him a pair of studded boots for Christmas he could even become a trade-union official.
Area for improvement
IDEAS far improving motorway service areas have won Alan Clark, of Pensby, Wirral, £100 from Roadchef. He would like single-room accommodation and separate areas in restaurants for "speedy and relaxed eating", which many people might think was a contradiction in terms. He also proposed a club restricted to key-holding drivers, with snooker, darts and a licensed bar, and the hiring out of tools for temporary repairs.
The runner-up, Patrick Johnson, of Netheravon, Wilts, who won £50, suggested among other things a minibus service to local pubs. Any idea of making alcohol accessible to drivers on motorways is unlikely to find favour with the Department of Transport.
A less controversial proposal was the provision for foreign currency exchange for Continental drivers — a suggestion from W. Carr, of Fernley, Leeds, who won £25. •
Nudes can find own way home
DESPITE OUR protestations in 1978 and the fact that we returned the offending documents in 1979, we are receiving calenders for next year with prints of naked women in strange poses in the West Indies. i suppose we could place the responsibility on the shoulders of an Italian tyre
manufacturer, but that perhaps would be unkind.
What we do want to point out is this. Naked women calenders are not acceptable at CM. They were returned last year, they will be returned again this year. But there will be one slight difference — this year we will not pay the postage.
Master is mindless
THERE CAN be hardly a manufacturer who has not included the word "master" in a trade name. Routemaster was one of the early examples that opened the door to a flood of cliches.
Admittedly, I have yet to see a hat called a Boncemaster or a washing machine named Floodmaster, but in the New Year the world will be stunned by a Landmaster from the Leylarld Bathgate plant.
This inspired title was the most popular of six on a short list (what on earth can the others have been like?) and the names of employees at Bathgate who voted for it were put in a hat. The first to be drawn out was that of Ian Whitbread, whose good luck won him a holiday for two ir Kenya. There he may come face to face with the inspiration o• several famous Leyland mode titles. I wish him a safe return
Enough to fool anybody
WHAT IS IT that fattens snakes, jumps around and flies in 2in ol pond water in a polystyrene box Answer: An African clawed toad Sixty-four of these pleasan1 little creatures from Cape Town destined for the biologica science department of Warwick University, were met at Birming. ham airport by Les Dziubek, im. port manager at Meadows Airfreight's Birmingham branch.
That, at least, is what the Press was told. I am able, however exclusively to reveal that it was E South African rugby team aric supporters — 22 men and C women — that Les hustlec through Customs. Their disguisE completely fooled Peter Haines and his anti-apartheid demons. trators.
England, in the guise of 15 boe constructors, will play the Clawed Toads at Twickers or Christmas Day. If the snakes now in the second-rate power league, lose, they will be relegated to the third world.