NEVER-NEVER LAND
Page 39
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AFTER Mrs. Barbara Castle had had such difficulty in finding a Principal Boy it was feared that the Christmas show in St. Christopher House would have to be cancelled. Certainly to those of us who were privileged to see it there was evidence of last-minute improvisation.
First of all it was thought that the Christmas Carol of Charles Dickens would be an appropriate choice for the characters that were available even though this meant that the Minister would be called upon to play the not very sympathetic part of Scrooge. There would be Lord Beeching for the ghost of Christmas Past—and that would have been a superb piece of casting—Sir Stanley Raymond for the ghost of Christmas only just Present and Mr. H. C. Johnson for the ghost of Christmas Yet to Be. Mr. Stephen Swingler might have been Bob Cratchit and the proverbial small haulier was a dead ringer for Tiny Tim.
Parts for all Just in time somebody remembered that Scrooge has a change of heart at the end of the story. This would scarcely have been acceptable so soon after the second reading of the Transport Bill in the House of Commons.
Who first thought of J. M. Barrie is not clear. Perhaps the idea came after the revelation in the Evening Standardthat Mr. Wilson was in the habit of referring to Mrs. Castle as his "little Minister." However, it came about there was soon general agreement that Peter Pan was the only medium which would provide a part for practically everybody.
As is usual with pantomimes there were several departures from the original text. On the whole the story line was kept reasonably clear at least in the earlier scenes.
As everybody knows, Peter Pan when he first appears on the stage, is searching for his Shadow Minister. In view of the comments she has made about Mr. Peter Walker from time to time it was obvious that Mrs. Castle, who was naturally given the main part, would expect to find him in the nursery.
Following strong protests from the railway unions some drastic changes had to be made in the celebrated flying scene. In the end the Minister compromised and travelled to Never-Never Land by train via No. 10 Downing Street with a guard at each end and two in the middle. The Never-Never Land was much as one remembers it with pirates and cowboys and other familiar figures from the road transport scene. The Lost Boys were played by those operators likely to be put out of business if the Transport Bill goes through. Particularly warmly applauded was a ferocious band of Opposition MPs led by the rascally Captain Hook in which role a superb performance was turned in by Mr. Walker.
Devotees of Barrie will remember how the villain is pursued relentlessly by a crocodile with an alarm clock ticking inside it. A more apt symbol for the guillotine on parliamentary time it would be difficult to imagine. The contortions, grimaces and epithets with which Mr. Walker greeted the reptile every time it appeared had to be seen and heard to be properly appreciated.
He did his malevolent best to fight a losing battle. He was particularly hard on the poor fairy Tinker Bill, the inseparable companion of Peter. At one stage she was on the point of death after swallowing a draft of poisonous amendments prepared by the Captain.
The celebrated scene which ensued has never failed to draw tears from the audience.
"Tinker Bill is dying because she thinks nobody any longer believes in the railways," said Peter advancing to the footlights. "Let her know that she is wrong and say it so that she can hear. You do believe in railways, don't you?"
The tremendous shout of assent which greeted the question was a timely reminder of the Government's large majority if of nothing else.
Liberties As the show proceeded more and more liberties were taken with the play. Some of the interpolations would have made Barrie turn in his grave. There was an interlude, for example, in which a rally of operators dressed as Indians were roused to enthusiastic opposition by a cheer leader obscurely named Zigger Zagger. The dialogue went something like this.
"Do you protest?" said the organizer. "Yes we protest," was the reply.
"Why do you protest?"
"You tell us!" And so it went on. What with the Indians fighting the pirates, the cowboys fighting the Indians, and Peter fighting the lot, a good time was had by all. After many adventures the villain was appropriately skewered at the end of the third reading.
A special word of praise should be given to the orchestra. It was particularly strong in the tympani and the wind sections with the big drum (of course) and an assortment of sirens, radar blips, police whistles and breathalyzers.
There were other novelties. A highlight of the show (as of every pantomime) was the interval while the scenery is being changed and a sheet is lowered carrying the words of a chorus which the audience are expected to sing. Captain Hook led his gang of dissident MPs in front of the Speaker's chair and began with the well-known ballad: The railway runs through the middle of the House Since the Government bought the land.
In the meantime a band of Government supporters gathered on the other side of the stage and started their own song: Then raise the Transport Bill on high We'll get it through before July Though hauliers quake and traders fear We'll keep the Red Flag flying here.
Fashions have changed Fashions in whimsy have changed. Modern audiences tend to become irritated with Peter and his endless taste for adventure and to prefer the equally neurotic Captain Hook. Perhaps because of this there was some difficulty in arranging a satisfactory ending to the performance. To allow the children to return from the Never-Never Land and to take up their lives again where they had left off would hardly have been right.
On the legitimate stage this kind of dilemma is not easy to solve. On the political plane there is no difficulty. For the solution of such problems there is always the guillotine. When she could see that the audience had had enough the Minister rang down the curtain.