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• A UMM 4x4 powered by a 2.5-litre turbo charge-cooled
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Peugeot diesel engine, took many people by surprise when it clinched joint overall victory in this year's 4WDriving Force competition. The UMM is a comparatively unknown fourwheel-drive vehicle in the UK, launched only tiko years ago.
More than 70 vehicles started the three-day off-road competition, including 40 Land Rovers, and models from Nis san, Bedford, Lada and Auverland, entered by the British Army, Police and MM Customs & Excise teams from across the country.
The UMM team were overall joint winners with an Army team in a Land Rover_ Peter Jones, technical director of UMM was over the moon about the vehicle's success. "This has proved beyond doubt what a capable off-road performer the UMM is — I am convinced we have a sales winner on our hands." What he was trying to say was perhaps customers won't "mum and ah" so much now in the, umm, dealers showroom.
• A very interesting press release has been brought to the Hawk's attention. It seems that the maker of Timax and Truckmaster replacement exhausts, plus Bainbridge Silencers, has launched a range of "quality workwear and leisurewear in a new 'Style with Quality' self-liquidating clothing promotion". The problem is could anyone offer any clues as to what self-liquidating clothing is? Does it save the bother of having to get undressed because it just trickles away? Or does it fold itself up when it's run out of cash? Perhaps Bainbridge should stick to making silencers, it would be less exhausting . . .
• French geography is a subject which does not appear to figure greatly in the memories of staff at London Transport's public relations office. Their latest press release lists a series of guided tours, including a day trip to Boulogne where one can experience "The taste of Paris".
• The Hawk was flitting around the Chartered Institute of Transport's AGM last week and was lucky enough to catch the end of question time. The chairman asked the audience if it had any questions for the panel. They came in thick and fast and then suddenly a young woman stood up and announced herself to be a graduate trainee with TNT. Did she want to ask a question? No. Instead she praised the wonderful training programme going on at TNT. And then, full of conviction, she revealed that TNT had even gone in for a training award. Perhaps a brainwashing prize might be more appropriate.
IN In a recent issue (CM 24-30 May, since you asked) I made mention of a time capsule that will include a copy of Commercial Motor. Unfortunately my calculations went astray and its actually being opened in 100 years time in 2089, not 2989. Squawk. MI Thieves who stole a van from outside a health office in Richmond, West London, last week, were probably peeved to find a pile of dubious-looking bags containing needles in the back of the vehicle.
They would probably be even more upset if they knew that the needles had previously been used to treat HIVpositive patients.
• Bolton-based truck driver Peter Holliday has sent us another heavyweight brainteaser. This time clues refer to diesel engines.
For instance: Irish police, Queen's initial (answer Gardner).
1 Home of Motown records.
2 Big store, RIP, support.
3 Please enter, 4 Revolves, bird of prey.
5 We don't need antifreeze,
6 Add a and find Simon. Look out for the answers in next week's CM.
• Glancing through the job ads in the Newcastle Journal the Hawk's beady eye fell upon a tasty morsel from Parcel Force, the Royal Mail's newly revamped parcel service.
The company is looking for customer care officers in Washington to play "an important role in providing our customers with a total quality after sales service".
The advert stresses that the successful candidate must be highly motivated, though presumably not by money since the annual salary range is between £5,252 and £7,696 for a 42-hour: week. Not a great package for such a Royal role.
• Minibus drivers these days have to be a versatile bunch, but an advert in the Bury Free Press really got the Hawk thinking: "Part-time minibus driver required. Able to swim an advantage." Perhaps the service runs along the beach