• Delhi, it seems, is full of cowboys (of the
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driving variety) as well as Indians. Buses go where they please, scooping up and depositing passengers by the side of the road, in the middle, or without stopping at all. Lorries are often horrendously overloaded, frequently unlit at night and always decorated with slogans such as "Horn Please" or "God Is Love". "Say Your Prayers" might be more appropriate in the circumstances.
The Hawk asks what slogan will fit the bill once London's big red buses get deregged.
• Far from the nest one of my fledglings has been hovering around the RHA conference in Estoril, hawking for gossip. Best quip of the week came from Peter Bottomley. Building new motorways, he moaned, was not always easy. Local "Not In My Backyard" cam paigns were often led by busybody retired generals. Retiring RHA director-general, and retired army general, Freddie Plaskett, saw the joke. No doubt, he would say, the bane of his life as hauliers' leader has been not-quite-retired transport ministers. O The Robin Day one-lineput-down award went to Bobby Heaton, the association's vicechairman. During the brief question session after one discussion Heaton had just chaired, British Road Federation director Peter Witt hit conference delegates with a ten-minute monologue from the floor on motorway building policies. When the breathless Witt finally sat down, Heaton joked "could you repeat the question . . please?" O Talking of banes of hauliers' lives, these old chestnuts, roadworks and traffic jams, took a hammering from several delegates on a number of occasions. The top three pet hates were: roadworks without warning signs; warning signs without roadworks and warning signs, roadworks, and no-one working on them. The Hawk's own favourite gripe is the massive traffic jam with no roadworks and crash to explain it. Perhaps, like the question of where ballpoint pen, socks in the washing and the right-fit spanner disappear too, it is one of the great mysteries of life. [1 Slip of the week came from Pat Lee of Wincanton Distribution. During a question and answer session he referred to an enlightening presentation earlier by Cummins Engines. The plug came as a bit of a surprise to the delegation from Perkins Engines, which was one of the main sponsors of the conference. Perhaps, said chairman Barry Hempsall, Lee had been the only one to hear of some overnight corporate takeover, or maybe spies froi Cummins had been holding lit al presentations for the select few. . .
O Good news too for operators baffled by the notorious] complex annual vehicle test at plication form, acknowledged by vehicle inspectorate head Ron Oliver as being the most gruesome form that even the civil service could dream up. I is being scrapped and replace( with a "simple" single page.
• Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Surrey, there was a damsel in distress by the name of Maureen Whitefield who was stranded on ye olde A3 after being brought to grie by a puncture.
The young maiden was wor ried that she would forever be marooned on the hard shoulder, when, over the horizon, accoutred in shining white nour and mounted on a bated old Ford, a brave knight ne forward to rescue the nsel. The quietly-spoken gentle knight fought off the acture with his trusty jack. e mission of mercy fulfilled, turned to the grateful lady, revealed his true identity, trusty "knight of the road" s none other then Peter ancelot" Bottomley.
A lorry driver unwittingly red a man's life last week Ile collecting goods from va:ed flats in Liverpool. He had t loaded up a mattress on back of the truck when idenly he heard a crash. He ned round to find Alan Jackri on the bed, having fallen im the 13th floor of the towblock. Jackson is now in ensive care.
Brass bands have someng of a joke reputation with a section of the public which believes they play only the Birdie Song, the Floral Dance and Coming Home. In fact, the brass fraternity aims for high standards of musicianship.
New star of the Leyland Daf band is internationally renowned virtuoso Phillip McCann, prinicipal cornet and assistant condutor.
By the age of 25, McCann was regarded as the best cornet player in the world and won a string of Open, National and European championships with the Black Dyke Mills band.