A tale of two twitties
Page 54
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HARDENED CYNIC though I am, a publisher's press notice from Kogan Page had me transfixed like a rabbit before a ferret. The drama it unfolds makes Dallas look like The Archers.
It tells the story of "two busy transport and freight executives," Mr Smith and Mr Jones. At 9am on a Monday Mr S has "to shift enough bricks from London to keep Aberdeen in houses for a month." Half an hour later he is asked to transport cement from Aberdeen to Liverpool. And do you know what? He has done nothing about transport for it.
"He begins to sweat visibly. He's in a jam," says Kogan Page. All that sugar isn't doing his diabetes much good, either. Mr J is equally unfit to run a whelk stall, He is drinking coffee while Britain's building, textile, fish, paint and book trades are almost at a standstill, waiting for the goods for which he, too, has neglected to arrange transport.
Mr S is still up to his neck in Hartley's when Batman suddenly appears in Mr J's office with The ABC Freight Guide, 1984-5. Salvation! Mr J borrows £11.50 from his typist and buys the book. He puts it under the short leg of his desk, pours the slopped coffee from the saucer back into the cup and, heaving a sigh of contentment, savours once more that inimitable Maxwell House flavour.