Our Despatches from the Front (No. 90),
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An Interesting Description Of a Motor Vehicle and Horse Competition Behind the Lines in France.
B.E.F.,
May, 1916.
We had been back for a rest: this spells a period of stagnation and sighs for the open life at the advanced dressing stations. This brilliant morning we had followed the " bearers " up to the front, the car to which I was a,ttashed being one of the three to take first turn. We were happy again to get the "atmosphere,' and were playing pitch and toss for half-pennies to wile away the time before dinner. One of our cars, which was attached to the hospital division behind in the town, dashes' in and demands our immediate return. But why? "Oh! there is a competition in the division arid your car is one of the two entered by the colonel." We grouse and grumble at our luck, and make our way back, damning the competition—net the colonel ; he is too good a sport and we respect him too much—and generally inclined td damn everything and everybody, not excepting even ourselves.
A Vehicle and Horse Competition Behind the Firing Line.
The fact that we were going away From a place periodically shelled to safety did not count. It was a rhange there. Fancy a vehicle and horse competition a few miles beaind the firing line and in the midst Df a war : yet the competition Drought out zest and keenness as aothing else could have done, and 111 the transport was the better for .t.
Preparing to Make the Machines Spick and Span.
Our grousing done, we take stock A the ears, and note how frightfully dirty the canvas has become and -low worn the paint. We set to work first to scrub the canvas and then, mid the feverish _competition ,hat had set in between our two rars, we forget p grumble any nore, and behave ,politely to one mother—like duellists before the neeting. Sundry pieces of wood rad been bruised on the body. A 'ra,nc or so, and sonic engineers vho are billeted near by neatly let n pieces of wood to make the sur'ace perfect again.
Whitewashing and Cursing.
Meanwhile we wash her underreath and, not having hose pipes, his means lying on one's back and washing. Something like whitevashing a ceiling lying full length. Are returned to cursing. This, howsver, was the end of our troubles vith water ; henceforward our rouble was "paint." The Joys of Painting.
We led all the way. • The initiative was with us ; but as we were side by side on the hospital verandah, our points were slavishly followed by our sister car. We painted beneath laboriously and steadily, hour after hour, marvelling continually as to the amount of surface a car carries. I was personally a perpetual joy to all and sundry, and when the officers felt downhearted they would come and glance at 'my black-streaked face and depart with smiles.
First the black paint supplied by our.workshop ran out, and no More was available. I walk out, after having, just emerged from the underneath struggle with the differential painting, into the streets, find a painter's shop and demand
supplies. The proprietor of the shop is at the war, but the tall, cultured, and fine-looking woman—his wife—does not tell inc this, but proceeds business-like to take the order and mix 'the paint whilst I wait.
Language Difficulties.
There were, however, preliminary difficulties of language. In civil life I did no painting nor had occasion to study the technicalities of it in French. We were, on this occasion and the many others necessary whilst the work progressed, helped by a very charming demoiselle neighbour. Her English was excellent, but she also had not studied the art of decoiating. However, between us we struggled to full enlightenment, and enjoyed the laughter which accompanied the struggle. If she was charmingly
pretty, I possessed a fac euriously interesting, and one whose decoration changed at every visit. So for four long days we struggled to get our work done, and reached the evening of the day before the show arrived.
Temporary Suspense Occasioned by Engine Trouble.
Then the bomb burst. The engine would not start. I was finishing painting the bonnet when called into consultation. The sergeant was hurriedly summoned, whilst our officers, their friends, and all and sundry were busily engaged in diagnosis. I worked steadily on, with fatalistic certainty that everything would be put right and that I had no time to waste on it. The workshop expert was summoned, and then after a time we breathed again and the car was running.
Cause of the Trouble Still an Unsolved Problem.
All the leads to the magneto had been changed, altering the timing throughout, and dark whispers and rumours floated around about the car having been "nobbled." It is still an interesting subject of discussion as to how this occurred, but no finality is likely to be reached. However, the colonel smiled again. His sporting instinct was in the event and roused to keenness his anxiety that we would win. Meanwhile we had lost valuable hours which would have been used in tuning up the engine.
Off to the Showground at 4 m.p.h.
The next morning's sun found us up at 4 a.m. for the finishing touches, and at 9 a.m., in brilliant sunshine, we drove to the showground. It was very dusty, but on first we took our precious freight at a speed of four miles an hour ; as the distance was short, the cars arrived gloriously spick and span in their new paint. • The other ambulances of the Division had arrived. The drivers' faces expressed their opinion of their chances, when they saw us. Our policy had been to do everything that could suggest itself, and . we had done many things they hadleft undone. Their interiors were washed ; ours were a beautiful grey and the floor laid with new linoleum made them a picture. Patronizing the Judge. We Gain Second Prize.
We were drawn up, and the judge appeared. We almost patronized him, and our certainty of winning almost deserved an anticlimax. But no 1 We won, but the other (our sister) car got. the first. Its engine was quieter. We were offered second prize, but our colonel, delighted beyond measure to get first, desired the second to go to one of the other ambulances.
The Colonel's Special Prize— We stayed there and watched the other shows. Numerous teams of horses, magnificent in their massive strength, groomed to , the utmost, harness polished and all the steelwork like silver, drove past, attached to guns and to ammunition limbers. Team after team, showing not a spot or stain of the fact that a few days previously horses, men and gun had been covered in mud or lying in mud—seas of it. Then the transport teams, repeating the story, and officers' chargers following, with jumping to show their .mettle undimmed.
Nowhere a suggestion of war. All parade and full of pride, of life, and material.
When we returned, the colonel
paraded us and gave us on our car a special prize equal to the first prize. We are gailyhappy, and thought more of our eolonel's prize than the official one.
And Bow We Disposed of It. A discussion of ways and means of spending the money led to our pooling it and all the 21 of us having a dinner together with it. We . knew of a place just out of the town —a rather tumble-down " estaminet," where the cuisine was perfect.
A charming old lady, who, with a diminutive donkey, hawked vegetables in the day and sold beer at night, was the proprietress, and we hied us there to make arrangements.
The fateful evening arrived and we sat down to the luxury of a tablecloth and plates—ye gods ! actually all clean—and waited the result of the menu arranged. What a feast we had! Roast veal (cooked as only the French can), glorious cauliflowers with perfect white sauce, baked potatoes, and potatoes mashed in fresh butter, and beans. This, followed by choice dessert, cigars and wine.
(Continued.)