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By our Northern Correspondent Eric Sirongitharm Oswaldtwistie.
Page 22
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Police and firecrews were yesterday called to the home of Spagthorpe Motor Company at Oswaldtwistle's famous "Ironworks" following the massive explosion emanating from SMC's top secret "Stoat Works" where undercover research into a new "Wonder" fuel has been taking place amidst tight security. Nursing auxiliaries from the nearby "Sisters of Mercy and Colonic Irrigation" hospital were "on the scene" within minutes administering hot Bovril poultices to the injured and severely shaken. SMC's ashen-faced press officer Frank Chastity issued a terse press release this morning, declaring: "A company like Spagthorpe is always going to be at the cutting edge of 21st century technology and things that go bang with a dull thud and nasty smell—so obviously you've got to expect this kind of thing to happen. It's the price we all pay for progress!"
SMC insiders have confirmed that the search for a new "wonderfuel" is being conducted by former German rocket scientist Eric Von Flameout. "Having tried paraffin und lard ye now intend to experiment wiz ze mixture of chip fat und T-Stoft! Heads up Jar According to Chastity, as a result of last night's explosion Works Supervisor J Barrington Blackheart suffered serious scorch marks to his brown coat and is currently 'resting' in the SMC medical room. "I also regret to say that our entire supply of Gristle and Thumblett gold medal pies which were being kept in a nearby store-room were completely obliterated. However, I am advised by Oswaldtwistle's Chief Fire Officer that the many fragments of charred pie crust distributed throughout the borough as a result of the blast are perfectly safe to approach and are not, I repeat not, in fact, the radioactive parts of the Russian Satellite "Vlodski 12" which recently plummeted to earth and broke up in the upper atmosphere over Oswalcitwistle—contrary to all the reports from those irresponsible buggers at Spagthorpe Clarion and Bugle who anyroad should know better, especially after what I've done for them on Friday night in the snug bar
oft' Spam and Anvil... No forget that last bit!" FLASH: SMC's experiments into a new
Wonderfuel have been cancelled after the bodywork of Sir los Spagthorpe's Rolls Royce was severely pebble-dashed by falling pie crusts.
LATE FLASH: Spagthorpe Motor Company is now taking its annual workers break and will
return in the Autumn or "Whenever I can get the slack-jawed idle beggars out of t'pub!" says Sir Jos.