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• "It's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' 'chuck him out the brute!' But it's 'Saviour of is country' when the guns begin to shoot..." Your average road haulier might recognise himself in Rudyard Kipling's tribute to Private Tommy Atkins, Vilified by the general public and harried by Government and environmentalists alike, hauliers are about as popular as Kipling's Victorian squaddies, but when it comes to keeping the supermarket shelves stocked, or beating the odd miner's strike, who do politicians call for? After years of being ignored, hauliers can now hear what each political party has to offer in the run up to the election. It's a woeful choice.
The Liberal Democrats want tax penalties on "large powerful vehicles", with wagons restricted to "juggernaut alleys linked to break-bulk depots where freight would be transshipped to smaller vehicles". So if the LibDems get in we'll end up with city streets choked with onetonne delivery vans. Do these people live in the real world?
As for Labour, Shadow Transport secretary John Prescott says he's not antilorry — but if there's a hung parliament and a Lib/Lab pact he may not have a choice. In any case, his plans for lorry bans and draconian emission levels don't bode well.
As for the Tories — like the election date we've had to wait for their transport policies, but on past form they're hardly impressive. Yes to 24 new road schemes at 2760m; yes to speed limiters; yes to absurdly high VED rates for the proposed new class of heavier rigids and artics — and yes to the wonderful world of self-regulation.
But no to 40 tonnes. No to kerbing the LBTC's interference with C&U regs. No to laden LGV training and testing — and no to adequate funds for enforcement.
Like Mr Atkins, after they've got your vote they'll ignore you — until the next time Your Country Needs You. Over to Mr Kipling: "Oh it's Tommy this, an Tommy that, an' Tommy go away'; but it's 'Thankyou Mr Atkins' when the band begins to play ..."