NEWS from the
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NORTH!
By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongitharrn Oswakitoristle.
And they're offl. Yes, it's that time of year again when daredevil young motor racers flock to the tiny Pennine town of Heckmonthwaite to compete in the prestigious challenge of speed and skill that is that 24 Hours of Mytholmroyd Le Moors.
Daring young men in their magnificent high.
velocityvehicles some of which can reach speeds of up to 2omph—can be seen racing up and down the cobbled streets, alleys and ginnels of this splendid industrial town, known to many as the Basingstoke of the North.
This year the marathon event, a test of endurance for both man and machine, has been given an added boost with the entry of a fine team from the premises of local employer the Spagthorpe Motor Company. The SMC Factory Racing Team—pictured here putting its vehicles through their paces on the company's Heptonstall test circuit—comprises loading bay apprentice Darren "Need for speed" Acne; electrical engineer Ernie "Flashman" Wiggins, backed up by engineering overseer Isaac "Slide Rule" Frazackerley.
The plucky twosome will be piloting specially adapted SMC Mosquitos, the firm's fastest available vehicles, and pitting themselves against the cream of the North's motor racing elite. The competition for the coveted trophy will certainly be fierce, with other death-defying speedsters including John Fangio; Neville Mansell; Arthur Senna and Michael Shoemaker battling it out for motor racing's ultimate prize.
A confident Sir Jos Spagthorpe, chairman and life president of the SMC, was heard to comment; "If I don't see trophy int' boardroom by tomorrow then you're all out on yer ear, understand? It's our 'orne circuit so we should have a bit of an edge, and if that don't work then I'll have to do summat abaht it missen."
FLASH: The SMC Factory Racing Team has been disqualified from this year's 24 Hours of Mythomroyd Le Moors after other teams complained about "suspicious tampering" with their equipment and a mysterious shotgun brandishing man standing on the moors warning competitors to 'Gerrof mi land".