The detector detector
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A JOLLY gift for the commercial vehicle export manager who wishes to make his mark is the Whoopee Joyboy Detector Detector, as recommended by Australia's Truck and Bus Transportation.
It says: "Sew this tiny electric device into the lining of your coat just before you are about to depart on an extensive overseas air tour. Every time you step through the security detector, the Whoopee Joyboy will emit a loud shrieking sound exactly like an air hostess in extreme pain. "The armed guards will be dismayed, even confused, by the fact that you are responsible for the sounds which can be heard right up to the runway on a clear day, and not their passenger geiger counters.
"It's just the thing for playing the funnies as you enter the transit lounge at Tel Aviv or one of the South American airports and it's a steal at $365.73 from any mortician's office. You can even arrange for your own funeral at the time of purchase."
HYSCOT Hydraulics Ltd, Blackwood, Strathclyde, a thriving 10-year-old company which markets Hiab lorryloaders, Telehoist equipment, Johnson construction appliances and other plant, has as its trade mark a bear-skinned Highlander in full ceremonial dress operating a pneumatic drill. It at least drowns the noise of the bagpipes.