Bird's Eye View
Page 49
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Bunged Up!
By The Hawk
PlPELINES fan out in all directions from Government offices. They were invented by Whitehall to distribute specious promises fkim Ministers to a gullible public. Mr. Harold Watkinson, Minister of Transport, is. however, the first Minister to devise a plan to create bottlenecks in them. He announced it at the Road Haulage Association's annual luncheon last week.
Outlining his policy for relieving congestion, he said that "we must get more bottleneck schemes into the pipeline." Britain's crawling traffic will then, of course, come to a complete standstill. Perhaps Mr. Watkinson , Was demoralized by finding himself described in the toast list as Mr. Wilkinson, but no amount of demoralization could excuse his whitewashing of the Government's road programme. Having taken a tilt at the Roads Campaign Council, he pointed out that 23 schemes had been announced for improvements to the Al road, each costing over £100,000. When these improvements were linked up there would, he said, be a double-track carriageway from north to south. What Mr. Watkinson did not mention was that the missing links were far greater than the schemes in hand. Neither did he say when they would be supplied. Not, I predict, in his lifetime or mine.
Wrong Campaign
1VIISTAKES happen in the best-run transport undertakings, 1111 but it was unfortunate that an anti-fuel-tax propaganda slip reading "If your coal was taxed as much as the fuel used to run this vehicle, it would cost 28s. a bag" should have been exhibited in Darlington's trolleybuses. The county borough may have its grievances over the nationalization of electricity, but it was unwise to mix the campaigns.
Orders Lost
THE lack of a British counterpart of the Volkswagen or Borgwarcl microbus is likely to lose this country valuable export orders. Mr. Phil I. deLauney, proprietor of the Motor Stores and Transport Services, of Comilla, East Pakistan, was so impressed by the fuel economy of the Borgward when tested by The Commercial Motor that he
is determined to import vehicles of this make. Had there been a British bus of similar size and performance, he would have considered that first.
In Pakistan. he says, where fares in rural areas are notoriously low, only buses of the Volkswagen or Borgward type offer operators the prospects, of a reasonable living.
Sore Subject
THE Disposal Bill is literally a sore subject with Mr. Frank Lyon, the Road Haulage Association's lofty public relations officer. Listening for a couple of hours to the second reading of the Bill in the House of Lords, he was apparently caught between currents of hot and cold air, which struck him in the lumbar region. But even lumbago has its compensations. Whereas his upright entry to the House was unremarked by officials, his stooping departure was recognized with great deference. He is convinced that in his doddering condition he was mistaken for a peer.
Self-Denigration
I OCAL accident-prevention councils can do useful work, but how often they bring their efforts into disrepute with fatuous suggestions. A shining example came from the Flintshire Road Safety Committee, a member of which proposed that to prevent speeding roads should be made in waves. Fortunately, his .colleagues treated the idea with suitable levity and it dissolved in a welter of,obvious puns. But someone should have explained to the proposer that the only way to travel in any degree of comfort on a washboard road is to take it at speed.
• TV for the Gander
AULIERS as a class seem to be animal lovers, and to
me there is nothing more welcoming, on entering a rural operator's office, than the wag of a dog's tail. Mr. Edward Fye, a Whitehaven haulier, has, however, a more unusual pet in a 16-year-old gander, Billy, which has the run of the house and business premises, and is an uncompromising watchman. Spending most of his time in the yard, Billy has a peculiar, high-pitched squawk for strangers and a more friendly greeting for those he recognizes. Twice he has put intruders to flight, once when someone tried to enter a window and again when someone started one of the lorries. Off duty he joins the family in their evening television sessions, with his inseparable companion, an Alsatian dog.