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On the margin
Page 15
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Santa's secrets
As we lie back, bloated and gassy, our stomachs ominously gurgling we realise that we may have forced down one too many mince pies at our Christmas lunch. We strugglE manfully back to our cage to bring you this column chock-filled with ChrisUt las cheer. Although frankly you might wonder if Ws worth
First and foremost we need to thank those fantas1 folk at Fuller, Smith & Turner for coming across with dozen bottles of London Pride beer following SOME shameless crawling in our 6 November missive.
To be honest we'd do it again if we thought it would work; already one of our scribes is considering hov to work a Gucci handbag into a transport story (we all a bit worried about Colin).
But we digress. First out of the hat marked lestiv( fun' are your friends and ours, the Freight Transpon Association. O000h look, is that a bandwagon I cat see coming? Quick, hop on. And before you can si 'Jonny Wilkinson' the FTA has drop-kicked (sorry) e press release our way.
It reads: "The lorry is the Jonny Wilkinson of UK industry scoring points and ensuring progress fol the national economy." It finishes with a plea to "kic into touch" anti-truck attitudes. Ouch.
Santa is Irish. This is the conclusion we've reachei following hours spent pondering the eternal Christmas puzzler of how he makes all his deliverie in just the one night.
Extensive research on the M40 and M25 on Friday night shows how it's done as Shamrockadorned truck after Shamrock-adorned truck whistles past.
It's amazing really, they travel so quickly that everyone assumes it's merely a trick of the light no HGV could really be roaring along at 65mph, could it?
Don't worry Santa, your secret's safe with us.