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148 
BIRD'S EYE VIEW
Page 32
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BY THE HAWK
• The Hawk was suitably gratified to receive an invitation to a cost management conference arranged by eminent management consultants Coopers & Lybrand Deloitte, signed by no less than the director of the company's centre of excellence. Unfortunately he forgot to mention the date, time or venue.
• Two petrified drivers in Tunisia leapt to their death from a speeding van after hearing a body stirring in the coffin at the back of the vehicle. It transpired that a live passenger had crept into the coffin to keep warm. You win some. . .
• British trucks are cleaner than ever according to the latest Government figures, which show that only 2.83% of HGVs stopped at random last year emitted excess smoke.
This compares with 8.49% in 1985. In annual tests only 1.06% of trucks failed on excess smoke.
• For some reason best known only to itself, Strathclyde Regional Council chose to mark Glasgow becoming 1990 European city of culture earlier this month by commissioning ice sculptor Duncan Hamilton to create an Eiffel Tower out of ice.
The edifice was the centrepiece of the ceremony to welcome Her Majesty the Queen to the event.
Aberdeen-based Deep Freeze Supplies was chosen to undertake the tricky task of transporting the delicate structure from Hamilton's workshop in South-West London, up to Glasgow Central station, where it went on show. Which brings a whole new dimension to the term "frozen assets". • The BBC, bless it, is very concerned about what lorry drivers are eating. The Bazaar programme has launched a commendable Hearty Eating campaign to promote low-fat, heart-friendly food, and presenter Sally Anne Voak is attempting to point drivers in the right direction diet-wise. All well and good.
But the Hawk wonders if perhaps Auntie's tastes are a little more fancified than Joe Driver, or the Hawk himself, for tat matter. Well, how do you feel about munching on a raw cauliflower floret with just a hint of tzatziki, as recommended for the driver's lunch box by Sally Anne? "Double cauli floret and Tzatziki, please Lil." Somehow, I don't think so.
• Bad news for my feathered friends quietly going about their business stabbing at worms down on the sandy flats of Pendine in South Wales.
Last weekend Gertie, a Lucas CAV-sponsored Leyland Roadtrain, was seen belting up and down the beach attempting to break the 210km/h (130mph) British speed record for trucks.
Gertie, a familiar sight on the truck racing scene, was let loose by Brian Garnett, a truck racer from Hellifield in North Yorkshire.
Before the attempt Garnett said: "We are setting our sights on breaking the 130mph barrier but much will depend on the conditions on the day. This speed has never been achieved before by a road legal truck."
A special low-line cab has been fitted to Gertie, and Perkins has overhauled the engine and Eaton i has fitted a new gearbox. However, she remains a road legal truck and will make the attempt using bog-standard diesel.
Unfortunately, poor conditions restricted the speed to 91.34mph (147km/h) but a new attempt on tarmac is planned for later this year. El The current world speed record for trucks is a cool 159.1mph (255.9Iun/h) set over a kilometre course in the United States — back in 1936.
• Two top customs men visited the Leyland truck assembly plant recently to see trucks being assembled. Senior officer Malcolm Preece and technical officer Chris Kidd were particularly keen to identify potential hiding places, of course.
Last year their colleagues at Dover uncovered more than eight tonnes of cannabis — including more than 50kg secreted within a truck cab.
A special guide for Customs Officers listing potential hiding spots on trucks and trailers is being published, in preparation for an expected surge in crossChannel traffic. How are they going to keep rabies out — that's what I want to know.
• The Hawk's compliments to Peter Cresswell of Leedsbased PC Transport on winning a recent Commercial Motor Workshop competition and taking home three sets of tyre pressure equalisers from Schrader Special Products.
Cresswell specialises in transporting Yorkshire Television, operatic, ballet and leading theatrical productions around the UK and Europe and says that he will use the Schrader equalisers on two new trucks he is about to put into action.
Second place and a two-axle set of Schrader tyre pressure equalisers went to Peter Dawson of Congleton, and third spot with a single set of equalisers went to ownerdriver Mike Thompson of St Austell in Cornwall.
• The Hawk welcomes the news that Durham police are extending their Vehicle Defect Rectification Scheme to cover HGVs.
From next month owners of HGVs or coaches which are stopped with minor faults will be given 14 days to repair the vehicle and to provide rectification documents. If this is done the police will not press charges.
However, the three-month pilot scheme will not replace Department of Transport prohibition schemes and will not affect prosecution of major offences says scheme organiser, Superintendent Fred English.
"If we prosecute for defective vehicles, there is no way of ensuring they are repaired — the scheme does, and so improves road safety," he says. Quite right too.