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IN THE NEWS
Page 17
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Stuart Thomas gives us his regular round-up of the way the newspapers have covered the world of transport this week.
Every year journalists seeking to break free from relentlessly churning out bland news stories in darkened rooms —skin pale and drawn, eyes godlessly large and bloodshot— resort to making up stories. But before you start shouting slanderous comments and asking what's new, we refer to the art of hoodwinking readers for April Fools' Day. Most of the nationals (and yes, CMtoo) were predictably devious. But The Sun was more inventive than most. "Long Arm of the Claw" outlined plans to strap mini speed cameras to hawks, which would swoop on offending vehicles and film their registration numbers, tax discs and record their speed. "Motorist" Andy Pinder told the paper:
"We're already persecuted; now we're being hunted." A slightly chilling quote about a far-fetched story, but not nearly as unsettling as what's going on in York, if the BBC is to be believed, Despite being published on 1 April, the story of crows attacking cars in the city and ripping windscreen wipers off is definitely not an April fool. The BBC reckons drivers are advised to wrap their wipers in towels, which seems a slightly solution, but then
York residents do have more money than, er wipers.
One driver, John Foster, even topped Pinder's alarming quote: "Apparently a man is coming with a trap to catch the crows." Dark Stephen King-esque thoughts of shadowy vigilantes living on the fringes of society spring to mind, or perhaps just a mad, bird-loving, bread-smelling barn-pot. Jasper Carrot has based some of his comedy on the worn-out gag of reading out insurance claim excuses, and his home town's paper, The Birmingham Post, was happy to continue the trend, reporting a recent survey on the causes of accidents. However, some were amusing, such as the bloke who blamed his Aston Martin prang on the "bloody woman" undressing in her bedroom and diverting his attention. We say, damn those
pesky birds!