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Rail and imaginary
Page 12
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Stuart Thomas takes a sideways look at how the railway media are reacting to 60-tonne trucks, while the DVLAs busy staff are downloading colleagues amateur porn
The backlash against 60-tonne trucks on UK roads has begun.. but, surprisingly it's not coming from environmentalists.
"„.Road hauliers want twin-trailer 60-tonners, which they are promoting with some arrogance in a manner which is both dismissive and sneering." Harsh words — which are aimed directly at CM And written by the managing editor of Rail magazine, Nigel Harris, to boot.
"I don't know what's more depressing," the editorial comment trundles and shudders on, much like its beloved trains, "the contemptuous dismissal of all concerns about noise, weight size... or the industry's characterisation of these legitimate concerns as `squeals'." Paradoxically, Harris is also suitably impressed, later adding: "You have to hand it to them for audacity and skilled lobbying."
But he must know the kind of industry in which he is absorbed. And, if he's forgotten, here are rail freight champion John Russell's recent comments to remind him: "[Rail] is a very inward-looking organisation... they have neglected themselves. It hasn't many friends. Unfortunately rail is more concerned with competing for existing business rather than looking for new opportunities."
"We bought two bottles of rose wine for Heather and eight cans of lager for me and decided to get drunk and have some fun." Thus Lee Jones explained to the Daily Mirror how his 21-year-old girlfriend, DVLA employee Heather Muirhead, came to have a video of their "romantic weekend" at a Travelodge Hotel on her mobile phone. Except the DIY porno is no longer just on her phone after the film was distributed to 5,000 DVLA workers after, Muirhead claims. a colleague stole it. Evidently, DVLA staff are not being overworked by digital tachograph smart-card proposals.
We'll spare you the video's content, but perhaps we can now look forward to an Eddie Stobart truck emblazoned with Muirhead's name. After all, it decided last year that using another unwitting internet porn star's name, Paris Hilton, was a great marketing idea.
WE'RE THE PHONE SEX VIDEO LOVERS
M"1"7.1 .1, We deckled le get drunk and hare fun we were ming and stupid but it wasn't us wiio sent tk• 'OWN to Hump •