BIRD'S EYE VIEW
Page 22
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BY THE HAWK
• Star performer at the Transport and Distribution Services Show, held at Wembley on 4-6 October, was a wandering robot distributing some rapid-fire humour around the exhibition hall.
Smooth-talking executives and salesmen, with brains slightly addled by cheap plonk, had no answers for this computerised comedian. The mechanical japester stationed itself close to the NFC/BRS French wine bar, tastefully constructed in painted plywood.
The robot refused to admit, however, whether he was loitering because of the free booze or the mini-skirted waitresses.
• What a day I had last week. The Hawk was out and about researching the kind of stories that bring the nation to a standstill when I chanced upon just about the longest string of standstills anyone could ever want.
First, I tried to get across London — at 6.45am. No one told me that Battersea Bridge was unuseable because a barge (not a nasty truck) had • Commercial Motor Truckfest, the annual commercial vehicle spectacular, has had one of its wierdest requests for information yet — from Iran.
It seems that the event's fame has spread as far as the land of the mad mullahs. Education chiefs there want full details of the show in a bid to better links with Britain.
Colin Ward, of Live Promotions which organises smashed into it; that the lights on the Maryleborne Road were out of action; or that a vast hole had appeared in the ground near Finchley, funnelling everyone into single file.
There was, it must be said, irony in my plight.
The reason I was putting myself through this early morning misery was that Capital Radio was warning drivers not to use the M25 (normally the epitome of threelane harmony, he jested). I eventually got to Peterborough, did the business and set off for Dover.
I hurtled towards the Dartford Tunnel, only to find another traffic jam. It was 3.15pm. It had not moved an inch by 3.45prn; patience was wearing thin. 4.15 came and went, as did 5.15pm, and then 6.15pm. I eventually got through the tunnel at 6.45pm. Three and a half hours to travel 10 miles.
Imagine my delight, then, to end up last in a queue that stretched to the horizon and beyond, because striking French customs men had put Dover at a standstill as well. Life on the road. . huh.
Truckfest, is amazed: "We've posted all the details to the Abadan Institute of Technology. It's the most unusual inquiry we've ever had," he says.
"We've had guest visitors from the States, Sweden and Denmark and communications from a couple of places behind the Iron Curtain. We've had stories in papers everywhere from Canada to South Africa," says Ward, "but this is the first we've heard from Iran."
So when the Hawk's readers turn up at Truckfest 89, next May, keep an eye out for chaps in long black robes and beards entering the vintage truck competition. Maybe the Ayatollah, a big fan of longlasting conflicts, is also a fan of long-lasting lorries. • Her Majesty's Governme is not waving the flag for British motor manufacturers its choice of ministerial cars.
Last week Scottish industr minister Ian Lang was at Volvo's Irvine plant praising the way the truck maker was doing its bit for jobs in Scotland, and UK industry.
Trouble was, he turned up a German-built Mercedes car Says the Scottish Office: "Our usual car is a Rover bui there was a slight problem w the official car and we had to use an outside firm." Poor Lang, we understand, is very sensitive about being seen in the German motor.
Volvo itself is doing its bes to be seen as a British truck manufacturer (despite the sober conclusion of the Socie of Motor Manufacturers and Traders that it might really b Swedish and foreign).
Says Volvo PR man Trevo: Longcroft: "I'm not saying a word. I'll get quoted in Commercial Motor," You bet!