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IN THE NEWS
Page 14
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Stuart Thomas gives us his regular round-up of the way the newspapers have covered the world of transport this week.
A common reply from truck drivers, particularly owner-drivers, when asked about the Working Time Directive is that they fully intend to retire before the legislation becomes law.
But what would you do with all your free time? Queue like sheep every week at the post office for your pension? Tend to your vegetables on an allotment a la Arthur Fowler in Eastenders (before he turned into a jailed loony-tunes cockerney)?
Not Brian Bennett. The retired Nuneaton trucker instead "stumbled" upon a lotion that kills deadly hospital superbug MRSA while developing a hand cream for his wife in his garage. The Sun quoted Bennett, who has no medical training, as saying the lotion takes "48 hours to produce, and goes through seven different stages". It also cleared up Mrs Bennett's dermatitis, which was nice. This came 24 hours after the tabloid claimed another truck driver, Mark Bairstow, walked into a "key army base" near Southampton and exposed glaring security gaps. That is, he allegedly sunbathed, chatted to NC0s, ate a meal in the mess (Chinese noodles and rhubarb crumble, since you asked) before bedding down in a room with four squaddies. Not once was he asked for ID. What un-retired Bairstow wants to worry about is whether this constituted a period of availability or not under the
VVTD regulations. More tabloid fun, this time from that bastion of truth and taste, the Daily Star. Sister publication to CM, New Scientist originally reported on herds of robotic "smart cones" that could close traffic lanes, slow traffic and generally scare the
sweet bejesus out of motorists. Metro, The Sun and The Herald were some of the papers to publish the story. But only The Star described the development of "a fiendish army of Dalek-like robot traffic cones... on the march to exterminate motoring hassle". It also helpfully had a graphic of a traffic cone-Dalek hybrid; just in case we thought the paper was being absurd or alarmist.