My Word! y ' Orace
Page 15
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Any person who has acquired one of these new super semi-trailers ought to be able to find a job right away. Anyway, this time, the president of our local horticultural society won't be able to .say *he would have won only he couldn't get a wagon suitable for bringing his best marrow down to the show. * * • PALLING all customers . . . calling all customers. . . .
A driver on the way to Earls Court is said to have been compelled to leave his coat as security when he could not pay for a gallon of petrol he needed. On that basis, the man who runs short at Bawtrey on a journey to Edinburgh with a 7-tonner and trailer is going to have a cold night of it. * • Young Tom said he reckoned we ought to get a sit down on Stand 70, seeing the money we'd been paying out lately to " remember the Guy," but when we got there the chap in charge didn't seem to have heard of us.
He wanted to know whether Tom's face was always like that, but Tom said, "No." .He'd been to :one of these West End music-halls a couple of nights back, so it wasn't surprising that he was still blushing, having been brought up carefully, learning his trade in the Army and working in the maintenance dept. ever since. * * Having been used to a secluded atmosphere, Tom wouldn't have ventured out at nights, only he says the boss sent him to one of these board. residence places. . He didn't mind that, only the old lady who runs the place couldn't be very good at spelling, because she evidently thought she was providing bored residence. * *
CALLING all chaps . . . calling all chaps . . . calling all chaps. . . . Talking about radio, it's a good job it's not getting on very fast in the goods-vehicle line, isn't it? Fancy
being all dressed up with earphones, like a traffic cop, and hearing the foreman's voice saying, " If Bill Jones is in the " Suffering Plug," will he please neck his coffee extract at once and carry on to Bristol, where a customer is waiting for the Indian corn to feed her fowls? "
These wireless chaps want to get on with fixing us up with two-way radio, so ,that when there's a spot of fog. you could wake. the boss up. at 2.30 a.m. to ask what he thinks 'you ought to do about it.
Augustus, one of the lads out of the office, 'has an aunt that's see'reMay to a society for the suppression of anything
that happens fo be handy. Gussie asked me to find out whether her latest invention was on show, hut I walked all the way round without seeing anyone who was trying to sell a machine that shouts " Police " every time an overloaded vehicle goes over a bump.
Seeing the jam you're likely to get in if nobody likes you sufficiently to put you up when one of those attacks of rest. is coming on, I shouldn't have been surprised to see some sleepingbags exhibited. If in any difficulty, just find a quiet spot, slip into the. bag, doze off and there you are.
Just like the two lads who were making north. Fog came on and they couldn't get any farther, so, finding a nice hit of parkland with trees and things on it, they slipped the wagon alongside, climbed into their bags and dropped off to sleep. When they woke up it was broad daylight and they were on one of the islands on the East Lancashire Road.
One of these air-conditioning experts told us that the day will come when even the cab will get automatically purified aif. As my mate Henry told him, the idea didn't seem quite natural, but we were all for an automatic synthetic perfume of.. fish and chips in the winter, switching over for
'Orace, feature of many humorous skeches in "The Commercial Motor,comes to life and visits the Show. Here are his impressions of Earls Court and on other matters of current interest.
S.
The Greeks had a word for it So has 'Orace I Meet 'Orace and his mates in "You Have Time to Laugh!" a free booklet of humorous sketches obtainable from "The Commercial Motorstand ( I 3) .
summer use to the sort of odour you pick up at the "Carter's Arms."
Young Albert will never go anywhere without his mascot, which is a bit difficult, because he had to stay a day and a half near Sunderland last week before he could pinch a lucky one to replace the lucky one that had been stolen from him. However, even the gallery has its uses, as the actor said when the people upstairs didn't throw anything, because they couldn't hear him.
It was upstairs that Albert laid hands on just the sort of bolt that does to prevent lucky mascots from being so unlucky as to be stolen.
By the way, if all the lads who like filling up log-sheets were placed end to end, he'd feel a bit uncomfortable: Incidentally, did you hear the story about the lady haulier who went home with a Henschel 12-cylinder chassis, a Crossley aerodrome tender, a Crane machinery trailer and a Dyson tanker? Not that she's got anything to do with them, but they are just " the latest," aren't they?
On one of the bodywork stands, where bright pink coaches swear at pale orange lorries, I saw a chap wearing one brown and one black boot. When pointed it out to him, he said : " That's strange—I've got another pair like that at home, too."