By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongitharm Dateline: Oswaldtwistle
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FLASH! The Spagthorpe Motor Company has unveiled its bid to recapture the old "Mechanical Horse" market with the launch of the "Nippy", its new three-wheeler tractor. Speaking to revellers at the official launch— held at "Iron Works", home of the legendary Spagthorpe marque—Sir Jos Spagthorpe, (recently returned from London after being knighted for "services to local breweries") declared: "This is the vehicle British road hauliers have been waiting for since 1975."
By any standard the Nippy is at the cutting edge of technology featuring a "stump-pulling" (Sir Jos's words) Gardner 190 specially remanufactured by Fred Dibnah. Of particular interest to operators will be the now-optional driver's seat. One haulier CM spoke to welcomed the move: "T'buggers have been sittin' down on' t job for years...leddum stand!"
The man charged with selling the Nippy is none other than the Right Hon. Nigel Spagthorpe, Sir Jos's son, who has pledged to promote it in a roadshow "that costs pounds". STOP PRESS: Oswaldtwistle fire crews last night used specialist lifting gear to remove well-known local industrialist Sir Jos Spagthorpe from the cab of a Nippy after he tried to drive it over an inspection pit.