On the Side .
Page 63
If you've noticed an error in this article please click here to report it so we can fix it.
COMTNG into contact, as they do, ,....with so many different types of person, the employees of bus companies may always be relied upon for amusing reminiscences. One of our readers, a running-shift fitter employed by a large bus company, has sent us an account of some of his experiences and those of his colleagues, which might well be styled the lighter side of bus operation.
When the company expanded, supervision was tightened up and the inspectors became particularly zealous in the matter of timekeeping. A driver was sitting in his bus, evidently ready to leave for a seaside destination-, when an inspector appeared on the scene, looked at the bus, at the clock and metaphorically kicked the vehicle out of the station. In about 30 seconds a conductor emerged from the parcels office, demanding to know what had become of his bus—to the horror of the inspector and to the joy of everyone else.
As it happened, the route was a busy one, and another bus was ready to leave. The conductor was bundled, as a passenger, on to the second vehicle, and the driver was instructed to overtake the earlier bus.
"The Prodigal Returns."
Everyone thought that the incident was closed, until about 15 minutes later, the first bus reappeared. The driver had discovered the loss of his conductor and had returned for him. The inspector became most uncomfortable, much to the amusement of the remainder of the staff, for those present were then treated to the spectacle of a bus with two conductors attempting to catch another that was now behind and endeavouring to overtake it.
Among our duties was the exchanging of overhauled for defective buses, the repair depot being at least a, mile from the station. On one occasion I had carried out this procedure and had taken over a double-decker.
I noticed a stranger standing near, and, as I was walking away from the vehicle, he appeared to pull himself together and said, "When does it
leave for so-and-so? " I replied, " You're in the wrong place. This is the garage, not the bus stancl." The stranger looked puzzled and said, " But they told me they ran straight there."
• It was my turn to be mystified. " Who did? " I asked. "The conductor," was the reply. Then light dawned. "Why, were you on the bus that I've just brought in?" " YeS ; I was asleep on the upper deck," was the answer. Since that date I have invariably searched the upper deck.
One of the drivers suffered from an impediment in his speech, and one day he ,telephoned to the garage to .report a breakdown,. , The conversation ran something as follows —" Who is it? " (several times). " Oh, well, never mind, What do you want? You've what ? " (several times). "Oh. you've broken down. Where are you? Spell • it." After a few more minutes' struggling, " Well, it's a good job you're not at Oswaldtwistle! "
A couple of years ago there was an exceptionally severe fog in the district, and a driver who was endeavouring to get back to headquarters finally pulled up at the side of the road and announced his intention of waiting until the. fog cleared. The conductor, however, procured a large white sheet and started to walk in front of the vehicle. At the first set of traffic lights the conductor found that he had been guiding a lorry, which had managed to overtake the bus a mile back. • .
These Women!
There are two stories circulating at present which, although I should -not care to vouch for their veracity, are too good to miss. A driver on a service which was maintained to a relatively high-speed schedule was about 10 minutes late and was endeavouring to make up time. On approaching a stage the conductor, finding that no one was in sight, rang the bell twice sharply, and the coach continued on its way. Suddenly an elderly woman appeared, waving a ticket. The brakes squealed and the bus pulled up some distance down the road. Another delay occurred while the woman (of the real country type) hobbled up, calling to the conductor, "Hi! young man, can I go back on a double-decker? "
The other story concerns a smartly dressed woman with a Pekinese dog, who boarded the bus and requested the conductor to pull up at a point three houses past a certain road. On arriving at the place indicated she apologized and said that it was not the spot. The bus stopped twice more before the right house was found. Then, making no move to alight, she lifted up the dog to the window and said, "Look, Fido, that's where your auntie lives! "