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CHANNEL CHOICES

CM has gone undercover to join drivers taking loads across, or under, the Channel to see which ferry company on this busy route offers the best deal for the man or woman at the wheel.

Eurotunnel experience Part One: Calais to Dover

We start the outward leg of our Eurotunnel experience in the mid-afternoon at the Total service station in Coquelles freight terminal, near Calais.

British ex-pat Keith Williams is keenly polishing off the 'Menu Routief as I enter the station, which comes as a mild surprise considering an earlier offer of a meal on Eurotunnel courtesy of CM. When I quiz him about this he is strangely unenthusiastic.

We climb into his Fl-112 and roll up to the CO, check where Keith gets the all clear then proceeds to the toll booth to hand over his rapid service pass.

The attendant enquires how many meals we will want. -Just the one," Keith replies, with rather too keen a smile. A quick stop at the next control point for a passport inspection by the UK authorities and we're clear to join the queue for immediate boarding. Boarding the truck carriage requires a moderate amount of skill, then we drive up through the carriages until the woman in the hi-vis jacket motions for us to stop, apply the handbrake and kill the motor. We leave the truck and wait for the bus to carry us up to the passenger section.

On entering the drivers' carriage we're met with a cheery -Bonjour" from the two stewards and find ourselves a free table. The surroundings are clean, if uninspiring; much like any second class train carriage in the UK. A swift airline-style safety briefing receives polite, if mild, attention, and within moments we're on our way under the Channel.

A crossing time of just over 30 minutes means it's essential that food is served promptly, and thankfully this is the case as the stewardess rolls her trolley up through the aisle asking who's up for dinner. She passes six tables before reaching her first customer, yours truly.

The selection for this trip includes spaghetti Bolognese, omelette, roast duck and vegetables and lamb curry. All carry the same tariff, €7.90 (about £5.60). I choose the lamb which, like all the dishes, is served with a healthy-sized baguette, a chocolate mousse dessert and hot and cold drinks.

Further down the carriage she finds a couple of extra customers.

Despite my chauffeur's lack of enthusiasm the food isn't bad at all —definitely better than that served by some motorway services. Keith, however, like most experienced Continental hands, has become used to European culinary standards. One tip that's worth remembering is to take note of the departure time as 1 ended up wolfing down the last of my meal expecting to see Folkestone heave into view at any moment, only to another 10 minutes for the train to emer into the daylight.

When we finally come to a complete hi we're dispatched from the carriage in an instant and are quickly reunited with our Volvo artic via the courtesy bus.Wi formalities at the British side we sir drive away and onto the M20 for th short run to the Eurotunnel service Ashford where Keith spends the ni ready for an early morning tip near When we drive into Ashford freight services one of Keith's fellow drivers is waiting to clear customs with his load before setting off back to the European mainland. Johan van den Heuvel has spent the past 28 years on international transport and was happy to give your correspondent a lift back to Calais.

At Ashford we pass smoothly through the check-in procedure and through the X-ray shed without a tug from the officials. We join a line of trucks in the indicated lane but don't wait more than a couple of minutes before we're moving.

Loading is a brisk business and once again we take the transfer bus to the passenger carriage. As on the outward trip the staff are friendly — railway companies throughout the UK could learn a lot from these people.

Once the train is on the move the stewardess walks through asking who ordered meals. I count three takers from the 22 drivers present. On her second pass she serves us coffee and we take a couple of pain au chocolat which sets us back €1.90 each.They're reasonably fresh.

The journey is over in what seems like less than 30 minutes and we pull to a speedy halt at Coquelles. On leaving the train two transfer buses wait outside the carriage; one serving the front section of the train and one for the rear. Normally the buses sit in that order, but when we walk into the front bus we suddenly wonder if the staff on the French side are trying to catch us out as we recognise few of the drivers' faces around us.

Looking back to the near empty second bus we realise we're on the wrong one and quickly make our escape.Johan is not amused and says that this isn't the first time the buses have been out of synch with the loading order.

We're quickly reunited with our truck and then a two-minute drive takes us back to the Total station and the truck park. I wish Johan a safe onward trip to Antwerp and reflect on just how swiftly I've made the round trip. Clearly if time is of the essence and you've not got a need for gourmet cuisine Eurotunnel still takes the efficiency title. P&O Pride of Calais: Calais to Dover For the first of two sailings on P&O vessels I meet up with British owner-driver Neil Hobbs, on his way back to the UK from a four-day trip to Italy and Switzerland. We'd intended to take the breakfast time crossing but the security checks slow our progress. "That's the annoying thing with the scanner," says Neil, referring to the heartbeat monitor."It can very easily cause you to miss a boat. It's still worthwhile though."

By the time we receive the all-clear and are at the P&O booth we're politely informed that we'll be getting the following crossing, on board the Pride of Calais.

Once parked on deck we take the lift upstairs and stroll over to the Routemasters drivers' restaurant fora late breakfast. We're met with a cheery "Morning gentlemen" from one of the restaurant staff and find a table.

On the Pride of Calais there's waiter service and while I don't normally have cooked breakfast I order it, purely in the interests of research. Neil takes the marginally healthier option of scrambled eggs on toast.We help ourselves to coffee and the freshly prepared breakfasts arrive within a couple of minutes.

The food is piping hot and served in generous portions, which Neil assures me is the norm for this ferry.A traditional English breakfast will set you back 12.55, while the lighter option is £1.25. Other early morning choices include a fish breakfast or steak breakfast if you're really that hungry.

So far I've seen nothing to complain about. Neil, who takes P&O ferries twice a week.says that on the whole the service is very good. in his opinion, however, all is not perfect:"My only real complaint with these facilities is when I ship out on a Sunday and it's busy they won't open up the additional seating in the non-smoking area; instead they tell me to go up and sit in the smoking section. I'm not too keen on that."

On this occasion the restaurant is half full and there's space in the non-smoking section. The additional seats are roped off but it's puzzling why they're not opened up for use at busy periods rather than leaving drivers to endure a smoke-filled meal.

Apart from the issue of seating Neil assures me that the food and service is always first class, and going by this experience it's hard to disagree. "You can't fault the quality or the price of the food" he says,"but a little more variety would be appreciated.They do special dinners but it's less varied than before. Sometimes it would be nice to have something new appear on the menu."

We help ourselves to further hot drinks and toast and chat through the rest of the crossing. When the time comes to settle the modest bill I find that !can pay in Euros but change is returned in sterling. Neil's no more of a fan of this than I: -1l seems like you get clobbered on the exchange rate if you pay in Euros." he says.

P&O Pride of Kent: Calais to Dover Just to check that our excellent P&O crossing wasn't a one-off! opted to take another ferry, this time accompanying the Professional Drivers Association's Euro Driver rep John Hunt in his Scania 470.Again, we start off in Calais and after enduring a long immigrant check we finally catch the 12:30hrs Pride of Kent sailing.

John doesn't complain as he's typical of the vigilant breed of professional drivers who are more than aware of the potential problem of carrying unwanted guests home.

The driver's lounge on this vessel is separated from the rest of the passenger area by thick glazed panels, and again we're met with a warm welcome.The non-smoking area is much larger than on the Calais and the facilities have a more up-to-date feel.

A waitress promptly comes to take our order. John opts for the spicy parsnip soup to start (11.15) with fish, chips and peas (£290) to follow. I settle for the same, minus We arrive in Dover right on time and are away in moments. From this experience of P&O sailings it's easy to see why it's the company of preference for many British transport firms. Minor gripes aside we enjoyed a smooth and pleasant crossing that ran according to schedule.

the parsnip soup although John assures me it's very nice. Other choices from the midday menu include toad in the hole or chicken Kiev (f2.90) or two similarly priced chef's specials: roast pork or steak and mushroom pie. We wait about 10 minutes for the mail meals to arrive;not an unreasonable tini considering they're cooked to order, and once more it's the same story as on the previous P&O ferry:a good sized portion, served hot and tasting superb.

Throughout the crossing the staff are attentive to our needs_ Despite having a full complement of eager diners they make the effort to ensure all is okay at our table. The dining environment is relaxed, and the adjoining toilet facilities are spotless.

When it's time to pay !can't help complimenting the man at the till on an impeccable service. John rarely uses any other company as P&O suits his and his employer's needs. Also, he tells me there's the added benefit of more frequent sailing times than any ( the rival ferry operators.Thal makes a pretty convincing case in favour of P&O.

Norfolkline: Dunkirk to Dover The Norfolkline Dunkirk to Dover service sees your reporter lined up for the 06:15hrs vessel, confusingly named the Midnight Merchanr.What's worse is that the return sailing at midnight is on the Dawn Merchant. Obviously you need to book by sailing time rather than vessel name!

Boarding starts at 05:40hrs and by 06: !Mrs all travellers have been accounted for, the doors are shut and we're under way.The Dunkirk crossing is a relatively new one to Norfolkline. having started in 2000 the three vessels on the route are all less than five years old.

From the vehicle deck it's a quick ascent up to the passenger area and another cooked breakfast to challenge your reporter's waistlinein truth there are alternatives, but in the interest of comparative testing I plump for the traditional favourite.

Like the Seafrance vessel (see next page) you queue up for your meal, and considering the hour the mostly British staff are surprisingly chirpy. The serving can only be described as appetite challenging— more rashers of bacon and mushrooms than I've seen together before on one plate —and it comes in at a very reasonable £2.12 including hot and cold drinks.

British drivers Mike Wheatley and Simon Walker are happy to discuss Norfolkline's merits as we eat. We sit in the main dining area — although there's a smaller dedicated drivers' enclosure the customers on this crossing are all truck drivers.

Norfolkline is clearly a freight choice as the vessels don't carry foot passengers or coach parties. Mike reckons this is reflected in the appointments on board:"It's a little sparse.There's not much choice in the shop for example, and the drivers' area has only hard chairs. You can't really relax in there. it's purely a functional ferryjust a way of transportation," Simon agrees,but says that when it comes to the food the other ferry operators could learn from Norfolkline: "I've had the Sunday dinner on here a few times. It's gorgeous. and the portions are huge."

The breakfast goes down well and we feel well fed at the end of it.After eating we take a look at the shop which,while smalseems to offer most of the essentials (except for CM).

When I ask the assistant he tells me that they can get whatever a customer needs, even if it means taking a trip up to the shops in Dover."That's a characteristic of Norfolkine staff" says Brian Ellis, another British driver. "They can't do enough for you. It seems like they take customer service very seriously as they're the most committed of the lot."

The Dunkirk route takes two hours;tirne enough for a shower. Norfolkline has three passenger cabins solely for this use. It's a good idea: you're given the key in exchange for those of your vehicle and you can have a relaxed shower in privacy.

The only downfall is that demand outstrips supply and! had to wait for 20 minutes before

one of the cabins was free, but the result is worth the wait if you want an early morning freshen up.

We arrived in Dover on time,but curiously it took a further 20 minutes before the trucks start to roll off our deck.Whether this is down to the operator or the port! didn't discover.

Seafrance Cezanne: Dover to Calais For an early evening outward trip from Dover, courtesy of Seafrance, I team up with Remi, a French car transporter driver, to round up our ferry overview. We're first at the Routiers restaurant and I appear to have caught the restaurant staff off guard as they tell me to wait outside for "cinq ou dix minutes".

We wait only a couple of minutes and are then welcomed in with a cordial "Allez-y chef". Normally French call male strangers monsieur but on Seafrance. as throughout the port of Calais, drivers are often referred to in this way:They're not according you some great title, but neither are they being disrespectful — at least that's howl understand it.

Eating on board the Cezanne is totally different to the drivers' facilities on the P&O ferries. Here you pay first,€6.40 (about £4.60); then you serve yourself to the day's offerings at the counter. On this occasion we're greeted by a selection of cold meats and salads to start, several main courses including a leg of chicken,breaded fillet of fish, ratatouille or steak,accompanied by boiled potatoes, chips or pasta, plus green beans and other veg.

I go for a small salad starter then have the fish with potatoes and beans. it's all well cooked,seems fresh and tastes fine. Remi orders a steak which is cooked to his liking and seems like a good quality piece of meat. Remi has no complaints about his meal and it appears as though the rest of the drivers here are eating with hearty enthusiasm.

The meal is rounded off with traditionally French choices of cheese or apple pie; all hot or cold beverages, including wine, are included. On this last point it still surprises me just how much of the fruit of the vine some of our Continental colleagues think they can safely drink during this short break — I don't think I'd be very comfortable driving with two or more glasses of red inside me.

Looking around on this crossing it appears that there's a distinct lack of English speaking clientele. Remi tells me that he always travels via Seafrance as his car transporter exceeds Eurotunnel's height restriction and his boss doesn't hold an account with any of the other ferry lines.

Compared with Eurotunnel's express service, voyagers on the Cezanne at least have time to savour their meals as the crossing takes around 90 minutes.The surroundings in the drivers' restaurant are somewhat austere, but it's a tad more comfortable than the old freighters many of us will have sailed on.

The staff could be classed as businesslike rather than overtly friendly but everything happens when and as it should so there's little to complain about:The ferry sailed on time, the food was fine and we were treated with sufficient respect by the crew:There's little more we could ask for. •