• Word reaches me that the Department of Transport's planned red routes have made London Transport see red.
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Evidently the DTp plans to paint red lines over the existing yellow ones, but LT's group planner Clive Muzelle is concerned about the go-faster stripes: "The colour used to mark out the routes might not be visible at night," he says.
With lighting-up times in winter as early as 16.00hrs, LT is worried about the effect of flourescent lighting on the lines. Some bus lanes have been resurfaced in red tarmac, of course, adding to the fun.
The 1.)Tp is not swayed. "We are satisfied that the red lines will be perfectly visible. Yellow lines . . denote different restrictions," claims a spokesman — until he is blue in the face, no doubt.
• Last week a Kent police traffic patrol stopped a driver on the M25 for going too slowly and was astonished when the man asked PC Michael Batey whether he was near Durham (a mere 500km further North).
Apparently the errant motorist had set off from Rochester in Kent and, under the fond belief that he was heading north, had spent the next 10 hours going round and round the M25, a fate worse than that experienced by the Flying Dutchman. When rescued he was within 30km of home.
PC Batey, who recounts the ,tale in Police magazine, does not reveal the identity of his local hero: "We do not want to make a laughing-stock of him." PS In the sort of coincidence that only happens in real life, PC Batey is a Durham man. His accent no doubt made the conversation all the more enjoyable. . .
• Last week's CM dwelt on the dos and don'ts of law enforcement but rarely can Wilts police have dealt with a trucker as difficult to nab as Joanne Powell — who left two wrecked police cars in her wake in a 175kin/h chase.
The patrol cars were wrecked crashing into each other as they attempted to keep up with Joanne's booze-fuelled rampage through Keevil in a borrowed Ford Escort. She mounted grass verges and pavements to get past police cars.
It all ended in tears with Joanne banned for a year for drink driving, given a sixmonth jail sentence suspended for two years and fined £50. Joanne, who also admitted assaulting police, was at twice the legal drink-driving limit — a clear case of overloading.