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BIRDS EYE VIEW

6th December 1986
Page 80
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Page 80, 6th December 1986 — BIRDS EYE VIEW
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Which of the following most accurately describes the problem?

BY THE HAWK

IN Keep calm when Royal visitors are expected at your works. This is the advice given to company bosses by the CBI in its paper CBI News, last week.

It says: "A Royal visit has been known to throw a chairman or managing director into a Basil Fawlty state of near imbecility or into a fawning caricature of true self, or a nervous wreck. Be prepared. Get the protocol right."

It goes further to say that there is more to inviting Royalty than just writing a Dear Queen letter. The already overloaded Royal diaries do not permit members of the Royal Family to visit every company celebrating its 100th birthday or every new factory opening. So companies should follow these simple guidelines: Plan early, at least 12 months ahead, and give as many optional dates as possible. Royal diaries are always booked up at least six months in advance.

['Research into whether a member of the Family is in the locality on the date in mind. The Lord Lieutenant for the county will be able to help on this.

Write a clear and concise letter to the private secretary of the Royal in question. The letter should give details of the time and place, information about those who will be present, a break-down of the programme and interesting features of the event.

The tendency for companies to go overboard on redecoration for the visit will not irn press Royal Visitors, particularly the Queen. They like to see things just as they are without the sham, the journal adds.

Of course my own diary is less full and I should be happy to officiate at any grand openings or centenary festivities. I warn you though that I do like all the sham and would • My thanks to Ian M Train for this picture of AWG 623. New to Alexanders in 1947 this AEC Regal was found in the north east of Scotland having been in use as a workman's bothy. It is now working for Eastern Scottish Omnibuses employed on a vintage coach tour of the coastal areas around Edinburgh. make it a prerequisite that a lick of paint at least be applied to the relevant buildings.

• A few weeks ago [was contacted by yet another PE person anxious to get space in these columns to proclaim the virtues of a particular vehicle taking part in the Beaujolais Nouveau run.

I would normally have treated this with the usual polite "thanks but no thanks," but this was a bit of an eye catcher.

It transpired that NORBA, the people who put technology into refuse collection, had entered a 16-tonne refuse vehicle mounted on a Leyland 16: 13 chassis. They sent it on its merry way to pick up 600 bottles of the Beaujolais just south of Macon, The vehicle got back to Calais in less than eight hours beating many Porsches and Ferraris. The feat was awarded with the "Originality" prize and the Stoke Mandeville Hospital Appeal Fund was better off by £.3,000 thanks to the sponsored stunt.

• People's increasing need for legal advice has spurred solicitors to buy old fish and chip vans and use them to provide mobile legal advice services on council estates and inner city areas.

Stop me and sue one? • No doubt when Bedford dealers WASS planned this advert it intended the broken down van to be anonymous — but can any hawkeyed readers spot its true identity? Give up? The photo (left) may help . . .