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THINGS THEN

5th May 1961, Page 110
5th May 1961
Page 110
Page 111
Page 110, 5th May 1961 — THINGS THEN
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Which of the following most accurately describes the problem?

LSK FOR

THIS is NOT the story of the fab

ulously wealthy oil Sheikh who ordered a coach of gargantuan proportions in which to transport the ladies of his harem to and from the local baths.

When I set out on the quest for these stories I thought it might be—but of course it was wishful thinking. In any case, I was reminded, flat platform lorries could do the job just as well . . . at less cost . . . and there wouldn't be any stairs to climb.

For all that, the men who make transport have certainly received some odd requests. over the years.

Almost as outrageous as our mythical sheikh, for instance, was the operator in equatorial regions who was so pleased with his two new Worldmaster buses that he immediately cabled: " Worldmasters received. Delighted. Please send five more by return." difficult can they be, especially when, as was the case with this letter, it comes from a private address?

Talking of letters . . Taskers of Andover, Ltd., quote the classic example of the letter from Africa (every manufacturer has his file of these, I gather) which was addressed to JOKERS OF ANDOVER. They're still laughing that one off.

Something to Remember The letter? " Dear Sir," it read. "I am with much pleasure to write you this letter. I was reading a certain paper white I came across your address and I became very happy when reading it." (Now, ain't that nice?). "I want you to send me a photo to remember you always. There is nothing so strange as these few, words. Hoping to get imme

Still, if you have the capacity to take tese things as they come, , there's no oubt you'll go on delivering the goods. Delivering the goods brings another id request to mind. This customer. verseas, wanted a coach chassis con:rted to an eight-wheeler on which he roposed to have built a platform body. nd there was more to come.

It also had to be suitable for towing trailer, and the customer specified air ispension, power steering, an automatic :arbox and a luxury cab.

Obviously a man of taste. But what Id he propose to do with this par ccellence job?

Believe ,it or not . . . sell vegetables .om door to door. How crazy can you :t?

I don't know why it is, but the trailer oys seem to come in for more of this eatment than most. " Can you supply me," a leading manufacturer was asked. "with a flat platform trailer with a loading height of 2 ft, no wheel arches, a single axle and pneumatic tyres . . to carry 12 tons."

The impossible, for' this concern, sometimes takes a little longer . . . but this was one order that was never executed.

Hole in the Roof Neither was the one to the vehicle manufacturer who makes a well-known cab-over-engine job. His customer wanted a cab with a hole in the roof big enough to lift the engine through for maintenance purposes. And that wasn't all. Also required were a ventilator in the roof (presumably the hole wouldn't have been sufficient) and a sheet rack, also on the cab.

Clearly, as you will have gathered by now, the customer isn't always right. Which, too, goes for the locally employed secretary in the Middle East office of a British manufacturer whose excellent shorthand for "Export version" was unfortunately transcribed as "Expert virgin." Taskers of Andover tell a good story of the time the B.B.C. arranged a Workers' Playtime programme at their Waterloo Ironworks. No advertising is, of course, a firm B.B.C. rule, so the programme was introduced as coming from an ironworks in Andover.

This certainly didn't fox the Taskers dealers, one ef whom immediately cabled: "Grateful if you would iron my shirt."

Time for a Change?

Incidentally, the Taskers factory gets its Waterloo Ironworks title from the fact that it was started in Battle of Waterloo year, 1815. So here's a "Things They Ask For" from me: what about a change of title to something like Waterloo Engineering (or trailer) Works?

Most manufacturers get requests for vehicles to be supplied for trail-blazing adventures, and I have to hand it to the man who so badly wanted a vehicle he couldn't afford that he wrote to one maker with a hair-raising " publicity" idea. Crossing his home town was a bridge, the main girders of which were 165 ft. above the town square. He was prepared to make the descent by rope (I think they would call it a free-swinging abseil in Alpine regions) right on to the vehicle of his choice----and he also specified the colour.

Such a feat, he felt, would be excellent publicity for the manufacturers, and would certainly merit the cost of a new vehicle. Needless to say, the maker declined the opportunity of taking part, however safely, in such a hazardous venture.

In conclusion, the accolade must surely go to the manufacturer of a famous range of " heavies " who was asked to quote for lifeboats (complete with outside motors), several pairs of swimming fins and frog-diving equipment, resuscitating apparatus and protection masks.

And, almost the crowning insult . 7.000 tricycles, complete with pillions. F23

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