Out and Horne.—By "The Extractor."
Page 14
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A man on the advertising side of a -motor journal was asked, in my presence, by a friend of his, the other day, which of the two was the hardest man to make a bargain with—a Yorkshireman or a Scotchman ? His reply was elusive and laconic : he said —"A Jew."
A picture postcard, full of hearty .greetings, reaches me from Bologna in Italy, and it is signed conjointly by Fritz Poppe (of the Polack Tyre Company) and Arthur Spurrier (of Leyland Motors, Ltd.). The Editor, too, I learn, has also received one, and means to reproduce it : that's where he has the pull over me. These intimations of their peregrinations -start one wondering whether these two have joined forces over in Italy for anticipatory commercial gain, or whether they have simply fled from
the fog. Anyway, whatever their mission is, I hope they will be successful. I notice one thing : they are -carefully avoiding the danger zone.
The strangest note, to the English ear, struck at the Scottish Motor Exhibition dinner, was the oft-recurring " Mr. Chairman, Messrs. Croupiers and gentlemen." It took some time to realise that the name" Croupier," associated in the southern mind with the relentless individual who represents the " bank " at a gaming table, is the honoured title given in Scotland to a vice-chairman. Sir John MacDonald proved, as is his wont, a capital speaker, and stated that after a careful survey of the guests he could only discover two other gentlemen in the room who had gone through the Pam trial along with himself : he referred to Mr. H. G. Burford and Mr. Henry Sturrney, both of whose names were well received. Mr. J. S. Matthew, the head and forefront of the resuscitated " Argyll," made a concise, well-reasoned speech, in proposing the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders, and Mr. W. J. Letts responded with wonderful enthusiasm. I have a note that he stated that the Society has between L30,000 and .4;40,000 in hand,
and it started me thinking that the Society. might very well have dipped
into this to meet the commercialvehicle makers in the matter of charge for space, and in advertising properly. We should not be without a show this year, in that case. The toast of the Press was responded to by Mr. E. J. C. O'Reilly and Mr. Henry Sturmey. It did one good to hear the rich brogue of the former, and to see the people rock with laughter at his stories, whilst Sturmey effectually contrasted the methods of the English and French Press, and demonstrated that it is quite the recognised thing in France to pay for your Press notices. Mr. W. L. Sleigh, a well-known Scottish trader, with whom sat Mr.
Paul Brodtmann of the "Continen tal," made an excellent speech, and told the newest George Washington
story : this I venture to re-tell later. Mr. R. L. Jefferson (Rover) also spoke.
Other speeches followed—one can always depend on that, and there were musical items intermixed, but no thing frolicsome or gay, " only a man fiddling " as someone said, and one dreary-lookinar, vocalist who sang again and again : when it wasn't "Annie Laurie," it was something which he made sound very sorrowful.
I regretted that they did not put on the bagpipes; I don't like bagpipes,
but I don't think they could get you down quite so touch. But there! I don't want to meet brisker, brighter, more hospitable men than these Scotsmen; the dinner was admirable.
A party of Englishmen was in Boston, U.S,.., and was sightseeing. The enthusiastic American who was showing it round halted their members before a statue of George Washington, and glowed with pride as he held forth, with the usual nasal drawl : " Atnerica has never produced a better man than this; he was one of Nature's gentleman, and in all his stainless career a lie never crossed this man's lips." There was a moment's silence, and then one of. the English party quietly rejoined : "Ah I I suppose the explanation really is that he talked through his nose like the rest of you."
He was one of the Committee, controlling the show, and he was pouring a little oil on the troubled waters as a committeeman should, but does not, always. An exhibitor had been making some withering observations as to the low temperature of Waverley Hall, and he vowed that the chill which ascended from the bare asphalt flooring right up through his boots into his marrow bones would paralyse an Esquimaux. The show official remarked that he had—at election times—extracted a promise from every candidate for the City Council that he would vote for a boarded floor to be put down there, and here it was, just as before. I ventured to suggest that that was not characteristic of Scotchmen, and he retorted : "No l no ! ye're richt enoo, but e'ts chayricterestic o' candidates."
One interested visitor at the show was Mr. Frank Goodchild, late of the Lacre Company, together with his late colleague Mr. II. S. Carr, and on Saturday afternoon we discovered, in course of conversation, that we were all three bound for the same identical spot—bent on spending the Sabbath in our own sinful southern way. I had a new Dunlop ball, which was given to me at Aston a week Or two ago for trial, and the only golf course available was across the Forth Bridge, at Burntisland, and the train went at 7.50 a.m. Welt! it was a wrench, but it was worth it, and we reached their hotel, at night, for dinner, tired but supremely happy; the " orange spot " ball—together with a stroke or two, be the bye, from Goodchild, had helped me to hold my own, Ion we had halved game after game.