ATMOSPHERIC CROSS-MEMBERS.
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A Tale of a Forward Mobile Workshop.
IF, IN THESE TALES of a Mobile War Workshop,
• :I seem to give the impression that I dwell on the . :bright side of our life and write not of its shadows, let my readers remember that the spirit which is taking the soldieS through the war is that of a ready acceptance of circumstances as they are. One of the elemental facts is that a_great deal of one's happiness depends upon one's facility for gett•ing through the work pleasantly. We have to work, and work hard, but no law, rule or regulation is laid -down, so far as I am aware, which would prevent us from extracting such fun from our labours -as the situation permits and the opportunity affords.
We often get long periods of enforced idleness, and then hard work always comes as a change and relief from the monotony of doing nothing; and we all agree that it is equally as hard to find work and pretend that we are terrifically busy as to do a decent-job of real work itself.
Perhaps this accounted for the rapidity with which, in our unit generally, our numerous and varied tasks were executed and completed. Do not conclude from this, however, that our duties invariably run smoothly. On the contrary, some tunes nothing ever went right, and some day I may relate of. certain occasions when the fates -wee against us.
To maintain in good order the large number of lorries which our unit comprised there were allotted to us three travelling workshops and three store lorries.
Each shop had its complete staff, consisting of a, mechanist sergeant, fitters, turner and labourers. Conditions of labour certainly differed from those operating in peace time, as one of our fitters discovered -on being detailed to fit a big-end to a lorry engine, a task he had performed countless times at home amid the reasonably comfortable surroundings and with the usual facilities of the workshop. But he had quite a shock when he found that, to execute it -here, necessitated lying on his back on the roadside, and being continually covered with 'either dust or mud by passing cars, whilst all the time he was com• pelled to undergo a running fire of comment from his friends.
Our three workshops.and store lorries formed one end and two sides of a rectangle,.the other end being the entrance. We made the enclosed space as weather-proof as • material and circumstances permitted by fixing a 3-in, rope to a tree at one end and at the other to a pole made up of two 6 in. by 3 in. planks bolted together and suitably stayed. Over this we hung large waterproof sheets to form a roof to keep off the rain.
Lots of repairs were destined to be carried out under that flapping but useful. awning ere we took it down.
One memorable day the Colonel's Adjutant called, and said his car had been attached to us for maintenance and repair, (What a curse these "attached" ears are !)
Not having even seen a workshop for six months, it needed some adjustment ; and as the Colonel was going to Paris for four days, if we could overhaul it during his absence, it would be very convenient and he would be very much obliged, while, if possible, he -wanted it on Monday. In fact, the Adjutant was very nice and suave about it. As it was then Thursday mid-day and is cracked frame was only part of the car's defectiveness, it was .a tall order.
Outwardly, the car looked in a shocking state. It had the appearance of having beenburied under a mud avalanche 'and having been drawn out backwards by a traction engine.
After consultation with "staff" and discovering A32 that no great pressure of work was on hand at the moment, we promised to do the best we could.
Meantime the worried but worthy Adjutant departed happily, promising to look in later to see how we were getting on.
Now, here was an opportunity to .show what we could do, so all three shops were immediately set to work to make a thorough job of it while we were bout it.
' After examination, it was decided there was only one way properly to repair that ghastly fractured frame, and that was to strip the chassis, whilst time would be saved, as each shop would be able to operate individually on each unit.
Afternoon roll call saw the commencement of the operations, system being necessary to ensiire continuity of progression.
First, off came the body to receive minor attentions at the hands of the coachbuileling department and a coat of service colour and such touchings-up as the paint expert could manage, to give it a, reasonably respectable outward appearance.
The already collapsed collapsible hood was handed to the sailinaking section for re-covering and attention to fractured ribs.
All these special branches, I may mention, are not laid down and provided in the warestablishment of the workshops. They mature according to the capabilities of the staff.
We whipped out the engine, gearbox and rear axle in a very short time.
Out came the steering column; for of course the fracture would lie in the most awkward place ; and by tea time that poor old Sunbeam had been dismembered and had disappeared piecemeal into odd nooks and corners where it underwent cleansing and further disintegration.
When "Reggie," the Adjutant, called the following morning to see how things were progressing almost his first words were : "Hullo I Where's the car7 " I guess he thought somebody had gone illicit joy-riding in it.
"There's part of it," I said, pointing to, the dismantled axle, "and there's some more. A bit more is over there, and the frame is in the blacksmith's shop." Reggie viewed the wreckage with awe, Casually we strolled across to look at our Brummagem blacksmith, familiarly known as "Bit o' iron," this being his stock reply on each and every occasion. No matter where you found him, "I 'us jus' lookin' for a bit o' iron, sir," was his invariable explanation. There he was, busy at the moment fashioning an art design. in flitch plates.
"Good Lor'," said Reggie, "I never thought you were going to do anything like this. You will NEVER get it finished by Monday," and he moaned sorrowfully.
"I don't suppose we shall ever get it properly together again,' I replied with studied dejection. "You see, this is the first real job of any size we have undertaken, but still it's not Monday night yet, is it' Don't grieve, old fellow," I said. " Perhaps it will be all right. Come over to the mess." Work on all parts progressed smoothly and rapidly. Luckily for us, no part was found so worn as to require renewal, nor was anything really seriously defective.
A new piston ring and a valve or two were the only required. On Saturday morning, after a thorough cleaning, reassembly of the uni4 was commenced. By Sunday, except for a few minor details, the chassis was re-erected and ready for the body. By Monday afternoon the transformation of the car was complete, and it certainly looked surprisingly sprightly, considering the rapidity with which its redressing had been accomplished. When Reggie called again later on to see what hopes there were of it being ready to take away some time in the nebulous future the look of despondency faded from his features with quite a click when he saw the reconstructed car in all the glory of its new coat of paint. Added to the look of pleasure which now lit up his face, astonishment and surprise were also evident.
"Splendid! Splendid " he said. "It seems impossible, and had I not seen it in little pieces with my own eyes, I should have doubted rt. Top hole! Simply ripping!" he ejaculated. " Oh ! the Colonel will be pleased." As a punishment for being a doubting Thomas, I told him it required testing and finally adjusting before it could be handed over,. and that he had better call for it the fpllowing morning. He was really sorry ; it looked so nice and he did so want to have a ride in it then ; but we, with the power of the workshop autocracy behind us were adamant.
Reggie arrived keen and early the following morning, anxious to experience for himself the improvements the overhaul had made. Later, we took him for a test run, having eliminated as far as possible all those annoying little rattles which seemingly increase and multiply the longer and more often you ride in one particular car. The ear gradually becomes tuned up to the sounds i of a car, s able. first to detect them, then to individualize them, and ultimately to be thoroughly used to them, even if you are not always aware of the causes of some of them. So when a car has been overhauled and every note has been altered, it seems for the first few hours that it is wonderfully silent.
That is what the Adjutant found when we took him for a trial run. Reggie was doubtless a very good adjutant, but he was as a child in motorcar matters. So when he misged all those little nonsense noises, he said, "Splendid! Splendid! You have made an awfully good job of it. What have you done to make it ride so sweetly and evenly '1" As much to save a lengthy and detailed explanation as anything, we confidentially informed him that., though it was strictly against orders to make any unauthorized additions to Government cars without permission, we had, as it was the Colonel's car, taken the opportunity, when the frame was dismantled, of fitting atmospheric cross-members to improve the springing. "All I can say is, it has made it jolly comfortable, and the Colonel will be awfully bucked," he replied "Doesn't it show yoii," he flaked, "the benefits of carefully and properly lubricated road springs 1" As Reggie had intimated, and as we had expected,' when the Colonel had ridden in the car, he was thoroughly bucked. He wrote a very nice note to the skipper and stated how pleased he was with the car aid thanked him very much for the very thorough overhaul which he understood from his adjutant had been made • and the rapidity with which it had been executed, adding that the fitting of "atmospheric cross dampers" or something had wonderfully Unproved the riding of the car. While he understood (he went on to say) that the fitting of them was unauthorized, he would be perfectly willing to say how efficient they were, if the matter were ever queried.
"What did you actually do to the Colonel's car ? asked the skipper at lunch that day.
"Oh! gave it a decent general overhaul and fitted atmospheric cross members to the frame while we were plating it," I said. "Atmospheric what?" be shrieked. "Cross members," said I quietly and complacently. But the smile on the face of Long Jim and the laughter of the others made him consider for a minute.
"Atmospheric cross members, indeed! You silly
ass . WANDOW.