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Gavin Booth takes a light-hearted look at 1981; cartoons by Brian Chandler

27th December 1980
Page 47
Page 47, 27th December 1980 — Gavin Booth takes a light-hearted look at 1981; cartoons by Brian Chandler
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Which of the following most accurately describes the problem?

January LATEST phase in South Yorkshire cheap fares policy. Drivers hand out money to passengers as they board.

Duple responds to challenge from European coachbuilders. =loses Blackpool factory and re)pens in Belgium. Sales soar.

'ebruary 3OUTH Yorkshire PTE driver iuspended for giving away too nuch money. Union representaives puzzled: "We've never had o deal with this situation beore."

Scottish operator converts oach to run on Malt Whisky. "It loesn't do much for perform nce," he admits, "but I get no omplaints about exhaust emision."

march 4CIDENT at Hyde Park Corner. ational Express and British oachways vehicles refuse to ive way to each other. Stalelate. Traffic chaos spreads lroughout London and the ome Counties.

To promote car-sharing, ransport Minister Norman )wler encourages wider use of overnment Rovers. Aban)ned after Prime Minister is reed to share her car with ree American tourists and a ade union leader.

London Transport seeks rthority to develop a new odel, the YRM — an eightheel double-decker, with roofounted two-stroke engine, ree doors and open rear platrm.

pril HYDE PARK Corner incident,

o coaches still stuck fast, re

fusing to move. Drivers will not release passengers.

Post Office launch new, cheaper Second Class Postbus services, which can take up to a couple of days longer.

May COACHES still at Hyde Park Corner. ACAS called in to mediate. Red Cross food parcels dropped for passengers.

Leyland admits that development work is progressing on a new bus model, coded B61. "We're not quite sure that it's going to be," admits a spokesperson, "but it seems a pity not to use the number."

June NORMAN FOWLER calls in SAS to end Hyde Park Corner drama. Coaches rushed, drivers arrested, passengers released to waiting relatives. No refunds given.

New coach safety regulations. Plaxtons introduce a new castiron body range, with no windows. "There is no danger of roll-over with these new bodies," explains a spokesman. "In fact, as the coach can hardly move, there is no danger of anything."

Hong Kong operators approach manufacturers with specifications for a new doubledecker. It is to be articulated, 20 metres long, with four-and-three 'seating for 280 and standing space for 170 more.

July AFTER selling all its Daimler Fleetlines, London Transport starts selling Titans and Metrobuses. "This has proved very successful," says a spokesman. "So much so, that we have a waiting list for buses which are still on order."

All National Express drivers issued with green frog costumes, in place of uniforms. Spokesman refutes suggestions of gimmickry.

August FOLLOWING its success selling buses, London Transport abandons bus operation altogether. "It may take passengers a few days to notice," says a spokesman.

The first summer of licensing deregulation brings a 10-mile jam of independent express coaches on the M55 to Blackpool.

September LONDON Transport reports record year-end profits, all from bus sales.

Express coach operators cash in on British Rail's financial problems, following the discovery that out of 750 million BR passengers, only Jimmy Savile is paying full fare; everyone else has rail-cards or soap powder vouchers. Following representations from civil liberties groups on Mr Savile's behalf, BR issue a White-Haired Disc Jockey's Rail Card. October INDEPENDENT coach operators mount dawn raid on Waiting Room at Victoria Coach Station. Fifteen National Express standby passengers taken hostage.

Japanese manufacturer announces plans to export buses to Britain. "We wish to give Reyrand a real run for their money", says a spokesman.

November NATIONAL Express mounts unsuccessful retaliation raid on independents. A spokesman admits: "We couldn't find Kings Cross Coach Station!"

First Japanese double-decker arrives for demonstration purposes. Driver insists that passengers remove shoes before boarding.

December VICTORIA Coach Station hostages released in exchange for the National Express frog Beeper.

CIE experiences teething troubles with early Bombardier buses produced in former piano factory. "Just a tuning problem," explains a spokesman. The Old Bailey is designated a Trial Area under the 1980 Transport Act.