Collector's piece
Page 29
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A special limited edition of the LeYfordson Junkmaster 32tonner will be introduced at the Scottish Show. Indeed, the edition is limited to one and is being built in the managing director's back garden, the factory having been on strike for the past six months over the use of tea bags in the canteen.
Outwardly it will be immediately distinguishable by a simulated mud finish on which -Liverpool for the Cup", "Don't wash me — plant something", "'Don't hoot — the driver's asleep", -Moss Evans rules OKand other side-splitting witticisms are inscribed with a finger tip.
The Junkmaster Special is propelled by a battery-operated sewing machine. This unit is.so compact that it has been possible to install a 5ft double bed with brass knobs in the commodious sleeper cab. It is in fact the only vehicle in the world which the driver can drive without getting out of bed.
A built-in computer records the date, time, number of stitches to the mile, names of all pubs on the route and obliging telephone numbers, forecasts the winner of the 2.30 at York and plays 16 quite appalling punk-rock songs.
What the Leyfordson press release does not mention is that the vehicle is too large to get through the managing director's side gate. Consequently a special application has had to be made to the planning authorities for permission to demolish the house. As this is council property the situation is delicate_