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By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongitharm Oswaldtwistle The Spagthorpe Motor
Page 24
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Company has stolen the limelight at the Gdansk Motor Show with the surprise unveiling of its alternative-fuelled new tractor, "The Dreadnought."
Speaking to members of Her Majesty's Truck Press outside the "Brno Pilsner" hospitality tent, a red-faced Sir Jos Spagthorpe declared: -This is the truck that will take us firmly into the 20th Century"
Questioned on whether the UK road haulage industry was ready to return to steampowered lorries, Sir Jos hit back: "Steam made British industry great before, and it will make it great again!" And he denied that "The Dreadnought" was in fact a rebadged copy of the failed 1917 Spagthorpe "Reliable".
"This is a brand new model with a radical new smoke box and boiler," he stormed. "And our unique self-delivery shute means a driver can do his own coaling without a fireman."
Sir Jos vehemently denied any connection between the launch of "The Dreadnought" and the overnight appearance of 55 million tonnes of Polish coal in the car park of the legendary "Iron Works", FLASH: A House of Commons investigation has cleared Sir Jos Spagthorpe of "Speculation on the Polish Coal Market." Sir Jos personally thanked the committee, adding: "I'll see thee alreet lads."