Now It Can Be Told .
Page 44
If you've noticed an error in this article please click here to report it so we can fix it.
ACUSTOMER walked into the Bruddersfield parcels office of -1.-Utopian Road Services and said: "According to your Pickfords book, Transport Saga,' you carry anything anywhere."
Of course. Nothing too large., nothing too small," the bank superintendent answered smartly.
Can we help you? Anything up to 100 tons." . "Well," replied the customer, " I notice you have carried elephants in the past, so I suppose my request is just too easy. ii want to send two rabbits in a box to Manchester. Can you do it?"
Although he did not want to refuse the job, the bank superintendent was slightly dubious about the carriage of livestock. "Leave them here. and I will write to head office for a ruling." he said.
The sequence of events thereafter was fascinating.
BRUDDERSFIELD to head office: "Are we permitted to carry two rabbits from Bruddersfield to Manchester, and, if so, what rates apply? "
London to Bruddersfield: "Are the rabbits dead or alive? "
Bruddersfield to London: 'Rabbits are alive."
London to Bruddersfield: "As this i-, a special circumstance, ask customer whether he will accept risk for this consignment, and, if so, charge 8s. for the job."
Bruddersfield to customer: " Are you agreeable to accept the risk for this consignment?"
THERE was no reply from the
customer, but the rabbits were now nine in number. A special messenger was sent to contact the customer to Claim 5s. towards
cabbages supplied to the rabbits. The bank superintendent was spending an hour a day feeding and cleaning the rabbits, which Were kept in thebank-officecupboard. pitkUDDERSEIELD to -London:
"Please note rabbits now nine in number. Do changed conditions affect the previous ruling?"
London to Bruddersfield: "Explain why you now state nine rabbits."
Bruddersfield to London: Hasn't anyone told. you "
London to 13ruddersfiekl: "Ask customer to take back his rabbits."
13ruddersfield to London: "Have now contacted customer,vvho states that he will take back only the original two. What shall I do with the remaining 16? P.S. Latest score 27."
'F THE bank superintendent was by HE time out on the bank and the office was filled with rabbits. He put one man on full-time feeding
and cleaning. *
LONDON to Bruddersfield: "Make boxes for all rabbits and await further instructions."
Bruddersfield to London: "Cost of rabbit maintenance now 25s, a week. Who pays?"
London to Bruddersfield: "Awaiting legal advice."
Bruddersfield to London: "Latest figure 123 rabbits on hand and half loading deck used for ' them. Engineer's department working full time making hutches ----a losing battle." London to Bruddersfield: "Deliver all rabbits to original address in Manchester."
Bruddersfield to London:"Two trunk lorries and five vans left here. for Manchester today.
London to Bruddersfield: "Accept no further rabbits."
Telephone call from Manchester to Bruddersfield: "Consignee of rabbits left . Manchester district. Nine vans returning." .
Bruddersfield to London: "Rabbits returned from Manchester, address not known.' Twelve vans filled With rabbits and eight men on full-time feeding and cleaning. What now?"
London to Bruddersfield: "How many rabbits now?. Legal department inquiring."
Bruddersfield to London: " 785— no, 924. Only two empty vehicles in depot. Please do something." • London to Bruddersfield: "Sell and get back to normal traffic."
Bruddersfield to London: "Had an offer, in response to our advertisement, for ls. 8d. each for 1,800. Am selling. Is this „O.K.?"
London to Bruddersfield: "Yes."
Bruddersfield to London: "Does this figure include carriage? Pros pective buyer lives in St. Albans.
London to Bruddersfield: "Yes-. Get rid of them."
FIFFY-FIVE vehicles from Bruddersfield depot—removal vans, parcels vans, low-loaders and meat vans—all loaded with rabbits, lined up, followed by an engineer's lorry with cabbages.
All went well to Doncaster, where an inspector of the R.S.P.C.A. complained of overcrowding. O.C. convoy frantically telephoned Sheffield for more vans, including a 100-Conner. Eventually 9,398 rabbits were delivered and, once again, the Old Firm delivered the goods.