Pig and whistle!
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Arming himself suitably for Britain's renewed assault on Europe, deputy editor lain Sherriff has blown the dust off his copy of The Insult Dictionary, which is subtitled How to be abusive in five languages. With overland travel by truck still imprinted on his mind (as well as another part of his anatomy), he suggests Halten sie hier schweine zwischen den mahlzeiten? Or: Wenn ich emn haltes Essen haben will, werde ich sagen. Sampling the roadside delights of a nearer neighbour, he wonders if Vous avez .des clients qui reviennent manger ici? might come in useful.
Farther south, he can offer Avete una calcolatrice per
contare tutte quelle ammaccature? for his garage visits.
All of which was obtainable (when he bought it) for five shillings (remember? 25p) from Wolfe Publishing, 167 Oxford Street, London WI. Oh, yes, and those phrases mean, respectively : Do you keep pigs in here between mealtimes? ; When I want a cold meal I will ask for one; Do any of your customers ever come back ? ; Do you have a machine to add all those dents ?
On second thoughts, perhaps we need all the European goodwill we can get And wasn't there some old saying about glass houses ?