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Inquiry to look into holes

7th April 1984, Page 49
7th April 1984
Page 49
Page 49, 7th April 1984 — Inquiry to look into holes
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Which of the following most accurately describes the problem?

THE great British institution, the hole in the road, has received the final accolade of a Government inquiry, and not before time. Gone are the days when every self-respecting hole had its own guardian in a sentry box with a brazier to keep him warm and heat his tea. Now it is a matter of dig and flit, perhaps leaving ratepayers with large bills for damage done by gas, water, electricity and telephone workers. There is no proper pride in holes any more.

Late one night a team of ghostly gasmen straight out of Macbeth descended on my road and dug half-a-dozen holes outside my house and those adjoining. Having kept everyone awake until about lam they retured, probably on pension, for as I write 12 days later, they have not been seen again.

So far the holes have claimed two old ladies, three dogs and a milkman, who are being preserved in aspic for inspection by the Government inquiry.

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