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Thinking of number one
Page 17
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L Radley reckons it's no surprise truck drivers are treated like animals when many of them are not toilet trained...
If you're eating while reading this, I suggest you skip it and return when you have an empty stomach.
A few weeks ago I pulled into Hartshead Services on the M62 and used the toilet in the garage. Five minutes later I was on my way, but as I looked across the cab to check my mirror, I caught sight of the truck opposite. The driver hopped out and full view of everyone relieved himself against his wheel.
The sad thing is that this is far too normal a sight. The other day at a large distribution centre I attempted to use the drivers' toilet. I say attempted, because for some reason the previous occupant had decided the best place to aim his urine was at the seat and the floor, Anywhere, in fact, except in the bowl designed and placed for his convenience.
Then we have that scourge of the British countryside, the plastic bottle. Found in pretty much any available hedgerow, under shrubbery next to lay-bys, nestled in the foliage at the side of truckstops, the yellow fizzy liquid it contains is definitely not cider. While I have every sympathy with anyone caught short in the middle of the night in a howling gale or lashing rain, it's the disposal method which makes the mind boggle. Maybe it's a territorial thing. Parking is now such a scarce commodity that the only way to ensure access to it is to 'mark your spot'. Which would also explain the 'lay-by truffles' found in similar locations, complete with tissue-paper decoration.
Of course, no driver would ever admit to this. Even the scruffiest wretch will claim to be pure as the driven snow. Shame he left his name written in it in yellow.
Ever wonder why drivers get treated like diseased cattle by the public at large? I have absolutely no idea.