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Out and Home.

6th January 1916, Page 12
6th January 1916
Page 12
Page 12, 6th January 1916 — Out and Home.
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Greetings from the Front.

The custom of sending Xmas cards has been fairly suspended this season. I have not sent a message out myself and have not received half-a-dozen cards-instead of about 100 in normal times. I give on this page a choice one which has come from the Front, and which reflects great credit on the author. A very suitable one reached me from a valued motoring friend, this Wing a plain card with the verse following ;— "No merry Christmas wish I send, But just the prayer, God bless you, friend! And grant that peace once more shall reign 'Ere Christmas Day comes round again,' " An Industrial Revue.

It has been a secretly-nursed grievance of mine that few contributions have come in to me which I could include on this page, and now, as this season commences, the oddest pantomime jumble has been anonymously thrust upon me, apparently, forsooth, because I have dealt from time to time with the personal side of various estimable motor people. In all, a dozen of these precious_ tabloids have reached me, but some are so libellous, so incriminating, that I have censored them completely. At first I tried my hand at eliminating the obnoxious portions and substituting other lines, but I quickly found I was the poorest hand in the world at versifying, so out they had to go.

The idea is apparently that I, as the Extractor, am a sort of Fairy Queen of the Motor Pantomime, introducing at its conclusion the Principals as they come forward and speak their "pieces." In this ease, as I have explained, many of the Principals are missing, for which, if they only knew, they would be profoundly grateful. Those that are left, follow:— LORD HIGH SNOOKER ... ... J. H. ADAMS.

Shooting is my hubby, tho' I'm getting on at snooker, Slosh and other games. Did someone call me fluke'.? My front name's really Joseph—which suits me ill, alack

I'm always known as Johnny, tho' George Graves cans me Jack.

SPIRIT OF THE SHELL J. CATES.

Petrol's now gone up again, or "Motor Spirit" rather.

My answer is, whene'er I'm asked, " Just tell me, how's your father " Once I lived in Borneo, picked up a little Dutch ;

I mean, of course, the lingo--I find it helps me much.

THE DEMON FIRE KING ... R. DENNIS.

Fire-engines and worm-drive gears have made me quite a name, Tho' years ago a racing motor-trike did just the same. I'm single still, I haven't had the luck to take a wife, But a Rolls car and a motor boat help out the country life.

MAGICIAN OF THE (On) LAMP ... A. F. NEWTON.

"Nature abhors a vacuum," so the proverbs say ; But really I find motor people quite the other way. rm very fond of something fast—that is, of course, a car, Boating, golfing, telling yarns, at which I am " some" star.

LORD LEYLAND OF LORRIELAND H. SPURRIER, JNR. I veered from steam to petrol, and well I found it pay, I have a yacht at Southport and delight to sail away; But after all my life on land so often makes amends, With golf, a Sheffield-Simplex, and my nice fat

dividends.

COUNT OUTPUT OF LUTON ... H. C. B. ITNIXERDOWN. Once more the curtain's ringing up, the new revue commences.

Our last year's show was managed so regardless of expenses That crowded houses were the rule, while booking in advance Was such an ad., it made us mad, the lot must go to France.

Lamps Alight.

On Saturday, 8th January. light up your lamps at 4,38 in London, 4.26 in Edinburgh, 4.26 in Newcastle, 4,40 in Liverpool, 4.40 in Birmingham, 4.48 in Bristol, 4.58 in Dublin.


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