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BIRD'S EYE VIEW

5th May 1988, Page 42
5th May 1988
Page 42
Page 42, 5th May 1988 — BIRD'S EYE VIEW
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Which of the following most accurately describes the problem?

Keywords : Truck, Volvo

BY THE HAWK

• One of our sternest critics dropped in to see us the other day. Schoolboy Simon Skinner wanted to see at first hand how we put this magnificent magazine together every week, and how — with such blinding skill — we manage to incorporate the odd mistake.

Simon, whose father runs BSA Haulage of Lydd, Kent is a committed Commercial Motor reader, and was horrified to find, as he scoured our vehicle news pages one week, that we had transposed the captions beneath two colour pictures and described his favourite truck (the Volvo FL10) as something else.

He wrote an incensed letter to our esteemed editor asking how this could possibly have happened, and suggesting that we ought to know the difference between a Volvo and a lesser vehicle! Were we all fools he wondered — and could he come in and see us in operation anyway during the next school holidays?

He came in, wrote a story for us (on Volvo of course), chose some pictures from our files, sent copy to the printers and checked the resultant mess. By the end of a busy day, we think that he had begun to realise just how the Hawk's less competent colleagues manage to create chaos from chaos.

By the way, he seemed to know something about trucks, which put him at a considerable advantage over the rest of us. We are now thinking of taking on a new trainee journalist in the hop that the namber of rnistooks declones. • Lorry-loathing Surrey Council is vowing to crush hauliers who ignore environmental laws by driving their smelly, diesel-guzzling juggernauts through the Stockbroker Belt . . . or is it?

A press release from the goodly burghers informs the Hawk's newsdesk underlings that: "SCC is warning unscrupulous hauliers that it will take legal action against them unless they clean up their act.

"Surrey is helping lead the fight against goods-vehicle operators who breach environmental conditions."

Fighting talk. We rang them up. Have you a get-tough policy? we asked. No. What about this release full of pretty strong stuff, then? Oh, no: that's from our PR department. Apparently, the red-spectacled, perrier-swigging publicity people had got a bit carried away. Our respondent was speaking from the eminently-sensible transport planning joint subcommittee office, she said.

The moral of the tale. Never let a boring story get in the way of a tub thumping press release. Truth? Who needs it? 0 Speaking of Surrey County Council — which, incidentally, does a lot of good work offering advice on legal matters to local hauliers — for those interested, the publicity officer's name. . Ken Livingstone.

• It's amazing what you can learn from books. Take the latest edition of the Guide to Heavy Goods Vehicle Driving Test by David P Soye. Among the gems hidden away are: "What points to remember when driving in fog" — they list no less than 10 — and "why are Zebra crossings marked with white zig-zag lines?"

My favourite question is: "If, while driving on a motorway, you notice something fall on to the carriageway, what should be done?"

When the Hawk asked a collection of driver friends, most reckoned they'd inform the police (the correct answer). One, however, was less than willing to notify the boys in blue — "What, and lose my salvage rights?" he said.


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