1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194 
Nice one, Darling...
Page 9
If you've noticed an error in this article please click here to report it so we can fix it.
Brian Weatherley puts his head under the pillow and tries to block out the details of Alistair Darling's new road scheme.
Today I shall be writing mainly about roads not least as I've recently been inundated by press missives on the subject, all of which have done nothing for my post-Christmas dyspepsia.
But enough grumbling, let's offer a loud "Huzzah!" for plucky Transport Secretary Alistair Darling and his plan for the first ever 'car pool' motorway lane between Junctions 7-10 of the Ml. Kiss congestion goodbye forever! I for one will be sleeping easier in my bed. If it works, the DfT says it may extend the concept to other motorways, even though there are no plans to use safety cameras to enforce the scheme. Instead, or so it's reported, enforcement will be handled by local police patrol cars presumably the same patrol cars currently stopping all those drivers still using mobile phones.
What really fascinates me is the potential collision between the car pool culture and the English, if not British, psyche. Will hundreds of complete strangers now start sharing the same car (well obviously not THE same car) simply to avoid traffic jams? It reminds me of the story about the two Englishmen, two Scotsmen, two Welshmen and two Irishmen who are washed ashore together on a desert island. Quick as a flash the two Welshmen form themselves into a male-voice choir. The two Scotsman immediately have a pick-up game of soccer with a coconut. The two Irishmen discover a plant which, when boiled up with water, creates a passable version of poteen. And the two Englishmen, of course, wait three years to be formally introduced to each other...
Before I'm bombarded with calls accusing me of casual racism (can racism ever be casual?), here's a serious question: why speed up the journey of car commuters when they're the very people the government wants to switch onto the railways? By all means provide priority lanes but for heaven's sake, for cargo not commuters. As for me I'm off down the shops to buy a blow-up doll (er... strictly male of course).
"Provide priority lanes cargo. As for me I'm off the shops to buy a blowdoll (strictly male, of cou