PEAR-SHAPED!
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Fuel tank cleaner John Duffy was left feeling a right pear 0) after a phone call at work from his wife. John, from Silsden, West Yorkshire, was driving his van along the M1 in West Yorkshire while munching a ripe, juicy pear, when his company mobile phone rang. He put the fruit down, answered the phone, asked his wife Judith to "wait a sec", hurled the mobile phone out of the window and clamped the half-eaten pear to his ear! Whoops!
John's boss, Henry Hinchcliffe, eventually saw the funny side of it; "John's been the butt of a lot of jokes at work. It was a stupid thing to do, but I think he's learned his lesson."
The Hawk can sympathise. There was this time, out in his Reliant Robin, when he absent-mindedly reached for one of his famous corn beef sarnies only to discover he'd bitten into a well-thumbed copy of the London A-Z.