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By our Northern Correspondent
Page 26
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Eric Strongftharrn Oswaldtwistle.
As the driver crisis deepens Sir Jos Spagthorpe. chairman and president for life of Spagthorpe Motor Co. has come up with a radical scheme to bring young blood into the industry. The great man is sponsoring the 33rd Oswaldtwistle (St Pancreas and the Martyred Despots) Scouts with a new merit badge for truck driving. Pictured outside the legendary ironworks on an SMC Ladysmith are the first group of eager recruits, with sixer Spiggy Mablethorpe at the wheel. "Eee Mr Strongitharm it's reet gradely," he told CM s Northern Correspondent. Sir Jos is even payin' us fer our time and 6d buys a lot of anti-ricketts cream!"
Not every member of the SMC team was as enthusiastic, however. "It's a bloornin' disgrace!" said Arthur "Uncle Joe" Ballpeen, conveynor of the Amalgamated Union of Fettlers, Nibbers, arid Idlers. Healthy lads of 13 and r4 wastin' their time drivin' blooming waggons—they should be down pit like I were at their age."
Asked if he was at all worried about road safety, Sir Jos said: "Nay lad—I'm not mad tha' knows! They'll all have at least an hour's practice round t'yard afore they tek t'the road and all that fresh air'll be good fer 'em."
FLASH: SMC's recruitment campaign has been scuppered by a higher bid from the VI, with scouts in Oswaldtwistle proudly displaying their Vehicle Examiner merit badges.